I really have so many things to do. hmmphh,,
School will start tomorrow, insyaAllah. So today, I took a little bit of my time to reevaluate everything. Reevaluate what I had seen, what I had witnessed, what I observed, what I feel, what happened, most importantly, my own self.
Let's start with that. My own self.
This summer was a very great experience to me. I mean, it really was. Like what I expressed in my previous post, my Ramadhan was a wonderful and incredible experience. But obviously, life in not just about roses and ice cream. we have bitter and sour too. But I learn to appreciate every each of them. Learning to be wiser.
True indeed when they say, 'when people did something that upset you, promise to yourself to never do the same to anyone ever.'
i need to remember this in my life, when joking, know your limit. Be sensitive to know if you hurt anyone without realizing.
As i aspected. This will happen. No one likes it, to be thrown from someone's heart when you are no longer needed. But things happen.
How do you feel when someone call you, the nightmare of their life? Perhaps when it comes from someone you don't really close to, it doesn't matter at all. But what if it comes from the one you really love and care. It hurts you very badly I tell you.
Yeah, you're right. Perhaps they were just joking. That's why, we really need to know our limit when we joke. Don't make fun of something that will hurt somebody.
Mind your words. I beg its okay to play once. But when you repeat it over and over again. You just can't stand it any longer. You are degrading them.
Imagine someone you love, repeatedly tell you how much they hate you. It hurt inside though they might just be joking.
But what can I do? Yeah, i can't force you to love me. But i can force myself to make sure not to do those things that will hurt others.
No offense, i don't mind hated by anyone. I just need to find my own-self back. I live for Allah. Not for them.
I tried to be like what you want but at the end, you just don't appreciate what i just done for you. But i don't blame you for that. I put the blame wholly on my own self. I should've known that earlier. Yeah i did but i just too greed that i really want you to accept me, i want to be perfect for you but i forget that i will never.
I really just need myself back. I thank everyone who ever took place in my life. You really had taught me a lot. I appreciate my life better after you came in my story. May Allah grant you the best reward for that because i can't.
Yeah people make mistakes. Sometimes, i am grateful that i did. You know when everything goes very smoothly, perhaps, you constantly do good deeds, so many good deeds and listen to so many islamic lecture, you think you're good. But you forget one thing. You forget to feel it. You just do it for the sake of doing it. You do so many good deeds but you know your relationship with Allah is not getting any better.
Ask yourself why.
Sometimes, good deeds can be the means for you to the hell fire and a sin can be the mean for you to get to jannah.
Reflect on that line. That's why, sometimes, we fall to sin even after we do so many good deeds. Because when we looked religious, sometimes we forget that we can sin too. We look at other people like we are the only good and perfect. We are too proud with our good deeds. We're too confident that we can enter jannah with those deeds and forget that it is actually: all by Allah's mercy.
Then suddenly Allah purposely open the door of sin for us to fall. To make us humble again. To remember the existence and the power of Allah. For us to become closer to Him again.
One important point i would like to make, at-taqwahahuna, wa usiru ila sodrihi, salasa marat.
Piety is here, (while showing to the heart) three times.
Know your own self. You might be regarded by everyone else as a good muslim but Allah knows if your heart is darker than charcoal. You know it too. Stop your hypocrisy, clean and purify your heart.
That was about what I need to fix within my own self. The reality is, I don't live in this world by my own self. I need to serve the community as well. It is not that I think I am good that I need to help others.
After what i just witnessed, I really need to do something. I just kinda disappointed with what i saw. NO, I don't judge, but I just believe I really need to do something to fix it! I don't blame the person for their mistake but someone somehow just need to make sure it will never happen again. I will try to be the one. I know it's not my power to do that but I'll try.
My hope is not to convert. My hope is to convince Muslims to practice Islam. So that Allah will bless us all.
Again, its not because it think myself is better than anyone. But I know I need to play my role so that I can delete the possibility to fall into sin by anyone's influence.
I am to weak to stand practicing what I am supposed to if everyone else is heading the other direction. That's why I am concern. And I believe, that is why Allah ask everyone to keep taking care of each other so that everyone is moving to the right direction. At the end, I just want to please my very own Creator.
like people says, Give Allah what's right.Not what's left. :)
I will. I will, with the help of Allah.
Amiin.
