Khadija

Copied and pasted from huffpost: 7 Remarkable Things About Khadija, Wife of the Prophet of Islam. (By yasmina Blackburn)

I often get into debates with people about women in Islam. How we dress. How we don't dress. What we think or don't think or should-be-thinking. I get into debates about feminism. What it is and what it isn't. I think I've spawned permanent foes because I don't care to apply the label, feminist, to describe myself. (I'm not one for labels, sorry. But if it's even required of me, "Muslim woman" suits me just fine.) But if we could agree for a moment that there exists a pure definition of the word feminist to mean: awesomely fierce to the millionth degree, then I'd like to introduce you to Islam's first feminist.

Her name is Khadijah bint Khuwaylid. She was the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him.) And she is one of the people that I think about when I face or debate issues surrounding women today. Khadija's existence precedes mine by more than 1,400 years; and, if I can at the very least, continuously strive to emulate her character, I will consider myself a success in life.

7 things you might not know about the awesomely fierce, Khadija (may God be pleased with her):

1. She was a successful and esteemed business woman.

I would give anything to do an on-the-job, ride-along with Khadija. Gladly swipe my car for a camel- my laptop for a government-issued glass weight to measure goods in trade. What could I learn in one day of shadowing this highly-respected business leader, trading furniture, pottery and silks? Khadija was born to a father who was a successful merchant in their Quraysh tribe of Mecca. She inherited her father's skills in a time in history where society was male-dominated and dangerous. Upon her father's death, she took over the business and traded goods through the primary commerce centers at that time, from Mecca to Syria and to Yemen, hiring the most trustworthy men of character to brave the dangerous trade routes. Her business was larger than all of the Quraysh trades combined and the most acclaimed with a reputation of fair-dealing and high-quality goods. She had a keen eye and was highly intuitive, earning the monikers, Ameerat-Quraysh ("Princess of Quraysh") and al-Tahira ("The Pure One") due to her stellar reputation. Khadija knew what she was doing business-wise, never compromising her modesty or integrity to succeed in the male-dominated trades- hiring only those that could meet these standards. Glass ceiling? Hah! 1,400 years ago, yes, Khadija shattered it.

2. She turned down many marriage proposals.

Being the most successful woman around, rich in worldly attainment as well as character, it seems Khadija faced a consistent campaign of men seeking her hand in marriage. She was married twice before her wedlock to the Prophet; both of these marriages produced children and both left her widowed. Her keen sense of character left her picky; and, she was less than eager to suffer another painful loss of a husband. She resigned herself to being a widowed woman taking care of herself and her family. Until ...

3. She asked the Prophet to marry her.

Love comes when you aren't looking, or so I have heard. (And experienced.) Khadija learned of the stellar character of Muhammad as well as his experience managing caravans on the trade routes accompanying his uncle, Abu Talib. She hired him into her conglomerate. Marriages at this time were typically necessary for survival and not always about love as we know it in today's world. Khadija didn't need a husband to take care of her financially. And Muhammad did not have the means to seek a wife. She fell in love with him, and through a friend, asked him to marry her. (He said yes.)

4. She was 15 years older than Muhammad.

If Khadija's story hasn't broken stereotypes about Islam yet, it might intrigue you to know that she was 40 years old when she married Muhammad. He was 25.

5. She was an ideal wife; theirs was a true love story.

"Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them." (Qur'an 2:187)

Taking multiple wives was a common practice, yet Khadija and Muhammad's marriage was monogamous until her death 25 years later. Muhammad's prophethood began during his marriage to Khadija, when he received the first of God's revelations through the Angel Gabriel that left him frightened, strained and feeling alone when no one believed in him. Khadija comforted her husband and encouraged him during the most difficult days of his life. She bore him 6 children. He loved no one more than Khadija during his lifetime.

6. She was the first Muslim.

Khadija, the mother of Islam, was the first person on earth to accept Muhammad as the final prophet of God and accept the revelations that culminated into the Holy Qur'an. She was greeted with "Salam" (peace) by God himself as well as the Angel Gabriel. She bequeathed her worldly goods and put herself in the face of danger to stand by the Prophet Muhammad as Islam became established in the land.

7. She spent her worldly riches on the poor.

In Islam, whether rich or poor, one's financial condition is a test. Khadija gave her earnings to the poor and to the orphans, to the widows and the sick. She helped poor girls get married and provided their dowry.

Khadija was one of history's most remarkable women. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once said that the four greatest women of mankind were: Khadija bint Khuwaylid, Fatima bint Muhammad (his youngest daughter,) Mary bint Emran (the Virgin Mary) and Asiya bint Muzahim (the wife of Pharaoh.) Khadija continues to inspire people to this day who revere her for taking great care of the Prophet of Islam and for showing the world, through her behavior, what a pious, modest and courageous woman can accomplish. The example she left for mankind remains timeless.

I'm 21 and i want to....

Let's talk about what i want to be and be honest and specific about it. Judge me if you want but well, these are my dream.

I want to be a supporter. I want to help everyone as much as i can. I want be remebered because i did this and not because i am pretty or fat. 

I want to stand by my own feet. I want to define success myself. I want to be able to utilize what Allah had blessed me with towards what i do best. I don't want to always feel insecure about my own self. I need to be confident. But at the same time, i need to humble. Humble enough that as much as i want people to appreciate me, i need to appreciate and respect everyone. I need to acknoledgetheir contibution even the smallest one. Just like i want Allah to accept every small deed that i had done, i need to thank everyone for that.

I want to be influencing but down-to-earth at the same time. I want to be someone who people could look at me and can say that Muslims are knid and helpful Muslims are amazing. I want to perform actions sincerely without pride. Though i want people to look at me so i can tell them who Muslims really are, i don't want to ruin my actions by pride and arrogance. When i do something, i must do it for Allah. i do it because I am a Muslim, i do it because God ask us to be kind.

I want to be able to speak honestly. I want to tell the world about something. When i speak of something, it is something important and something true. As much as i don't want to tell a lie, i don't want to keep the truth. I am aware enough of how much truth were kept secret and how much lie are told. I always believe, the world are getting worse not because lie are spreading around, but the truth were kept secret. I am sick of being in a world of lie. Just imagine if everyone who know the truth speak out, lies could not last long, that is nature of a lie. But why it is still around, is because truth is as if they are extict or something. Sad, sad world. 

I want to be the first to stand up. When i see someone needs a help, i want to be the first to lend a hand. Regardless of what people will think of me, i want do it. I know i had been fooled by the manority saying do not be the weirdo.  Now, i don't care anymore. I need to have the courage to do it. I had experiece numerous times that i need help but no one came forwand to ask me what happen. I know that it is not because they don't care. Deep inside they do care, as long as they are a human, they would care. They were just afraid, afraid of what people might think of say about them.  So, the decided to just walk away as if they don't know what was happening.

I want to be sincere. I want to do it because i know i need to do it. Not for fame, not for recognition. I dont want to get dissapointed when get a single thank you. Not even upset. Praise or curse will not change me. But comments and critics will taken positively. It will not bring me down but will lift me up. 

I want to be able to accept failure and mistakes. They are the proof that i tried. I took the risk. 

So, this is the part one. InsyaAllah will be part two of it. 

Quiet leader?

I was always afraid of responsibilities.

I swear, i used to think running a position means someone is somewhat perhaps greed of power, or thinks he or she is better then someone else, or perhaps someone is in want of spotlights and attention.

Untill i run a position in Muslim Student Association because no one else is running and we are lacking of people to even join the club to make sure it can still exist. I was the treasurer, of course, because no one else is running for it. It was hard for me to hold responsibility especially as a first year student and need to work with guys in senior year. I was really nervous. But really, time to time, Allah and people around me helped me go through it. I know i had done a great job. After a year, again, i run for the vice president for the same club. And again, i was elected because no one else is running for the club. This time, i am more terrified. My mentors and those who i've work with now need to go. I need to work with a different person. 

Some one i had never worked with. I had one year experience being in MSA, but the one i worked with has none. But i know she is capable in doing it because she is an extrovert and has the charisma. I was nervous but excited at the same time. I was so excited to run MSA with all the ideas i wanted to bring in. Time to time, i see they are happening. But unfortunately, i am not happy. In fact i felt very frustrated. I wonder if my intention is right, at that point. 

I started to run away from everyone because i thought i had done a sin. My intention must be wrong that i could feel that way. I felt heart broken, seriously and honestly. I feel used. It takes so long for me to tell my self it is ok. Because to me, it is just so wrong! I really am really unhappy about it. And i decide not to accept the action. It really hurt when you had done so much, work with some one else, but another people gets the name for oneself. I am not to claim that was mine, but i just believe, it was our, everyone contributing's work. Everyone shall get some credit for that. Even if not individually, the club should get its name, not just one person. But well, you know the world is unfair if it is without the hereafter.

Not only i don't get recognition for what i had done( no, i dont need award, but atleast a sincere humble thank you will flower my heart), but also get what we always try to avoid. Bad name. I really can't tell you how frustrating it feels when some one really back bite and slander you. I know now, why it is considered some of the worst sins in Islam. No one should do it! It really destroyed my spirit. Ifelt stupid   and idiot, or shall I say, moron. I learned my lesson. I really do. 

Then after one more year, it. Time to elect a new organizing committee. I really lose hope in my self. Nope, i am not running  for any position. Some of them really put their trust in me. They made me feel guilty if i don't try to keep going. After a long time thinking about it, i decided to run. Was not really looking forward to it, but I know, i am stupid if one person successfully make me give up. I trued to look back why i started anyway? I know i have a greater mission than just that.

At the same time, i agreed to be nominated for another big organization on campus. Sorry, i lied when i say i don't want to run for it. Sorry, i lied when i said i was not hoping to get the position. I lied, when i said i hate you for nominating me. At the time, i was at my lowest self esteem. I really want to challenge  my self to stay strong despite what had happened. It was just very hard for me. I lose hope in my self already.  But really want to try. I was hoping to see if i still have a value in the eyes of other. I don't want to ask because words can lie.

Indeed, standing infront of everyone that day really made me nervous. I was shaking. I almost burst to tears when i did that. I was more thean just like in the public speaking class. I was standing presenting myself and dignity when i doubt i can do it. To be able to just stand and speak though my voice is shaking really meant a lot to me. Even if i lose at that day, i am satisfied and i am proud of my self. I was grateful that Allah gave me strength to get through it.

Then that day, waiting for the result of the election, i was hoping i could win because that shows some people still trust me when i did not trust my own self anymore. At the same time, i really know that i will not win. I know am not that kind of person to be a leader. I am quiet and shy. I an not outgoing and do not have charisma. I know i will never able to gain their trust.

But when i heard the speaker says she, and quiet person, i was shaking. I really do. I could not stop praising Allah for that. My heart was so overwhelmed by how much love Allah put in everyone's heart to love me. I could not believe it that people would choose me the quiet girl to be in the position. It was amazing to think of. I feel bad for my self. As much as i feel bad to Tom, i feel worse about my own self. I underestimated my self. I underestimated the ability that Allah had gave me.

Now i know i need to do something about it. I am not the best person on earth. I might not the best person or the readiest person to hold the poosition, but i know Allah put me there for reasons. Allah really know my dream to unite everyone as one. I want, but i always afraid to make it happen. I need to be ready to hold the responsibility and play the role to unite people. How noble is that task? InsyaAllah, with Allah's and everyone's help, i know i can do it. 

Readiness now is not an issue. Remember when prophet Muhammad were given responsibility to call people toward the one God, he wasn't ready either. He got the responsibility to bring people together despite background. Color, race and gender should not determine the classes of the people. Everyone is same. We all one humankind. Our prophet was not ready for that and he know he was lacking, but time to time, he was able to do it. He learned throughout his life. He lead by example. 

I want to be one too. I need to realize that this is a blessing and a responsibility at the same time. It will not always be rainbows and roses, but i know i will get the reward for every effort i make. Extrovert or introvert, that is no more an issue. I remember my management professor said that i can be an introvert to be a leader as well. Gandhi was an introvert. He don't want to be under the spotlight but he had no choice. Our prophet had no choice. It just came to happen, the world need them.

And i will too. Thank you everyone who had no doubt in me when i see nothing in myself is valuable. I thank Allah for having you in my life. I hope i can go through this. My hope is not so people will know me, but to make that change, though people not know what i did. It is enough for me than Allah knows, i know, amd people who really paying attention, knows. 

It does not matter anymore. The best is not the one to get the award. It is the one who will grated tne reward in the hereafter. I pray Allah for that. InsyaAllah. Work hard in silence, let the success makes the noise.

Amiin.

That time when i was so weak

I got confused in life very easily. 

I think, The hardest struggle in my life is to be bold. To not care about what people will feel about me.

I don't like to lose someone i love. 

Sometimes, i really do, i got tired in life. Tired of behaving how i want people to look at me like.

Sometimes i wonder, why is this life so full of choices that i need to make.?

But i think, the real problem is when i do not even want to make a sacrife.i really don't know which ones to give up.

I guess, one thing that i have struggled the most is to get someone to take my words seriously. I really do not understand why people is hard to listen to me. Things are getting worse now. I really am stressed out. None would want to listen to me. It is so hard for me.

I wish i had a friend who want to listen to me. Who wants to listen to my problems. What i struggle he most. I do have friends around me, but i am lack of people who are willing to spend their time to listen to my problems. Ironically, we can spend time doing crazy stuff but it does not inviting for me to share my problem. How so? 

When i started to begin my stories, suddenly i realize, no one is actually interested in listening to me. I really miss my old friends. I remember during my downs, after organizing Islamic Celebration Week, I was so down that i feel like giving up. I tried to tell want happen to my close friends but it turned we actually talk bad about people. That is totally not what i want.

I really want motivational words. Words of encouragement. I really don't want anyone to hate each other, but it turned out that way. I feel guilty. At the same time, my problem have not solved. I am my lowest spirit. I dont feel like speaking to anyone, i think no one would listen to me, no one would care about me. I existance was a mistake.

Until one day, i just saw someone i miss, whom i had not spend enough time with her, came to me, tell me what i really needed! I have not even tell her that i actually have a problem. Her words were just so amazing. She said, 'i have no doubt in you since the beginning'. 

That was actually what i needed, a confidence. Losing self-confidence is the worst! I barely keep my legs to support my body. I was so weak at the time, but i thought, no one care, but that was a mistake. Allah is listening to me.

He then send his servant to give me the strength. Thank you Allah.

Allah, forgive me when i whine!

Why i love history!

Fun thing in learning history is you get to reflect yourself

I learned that everyone can create a history. Good or bad, that is a different story. You can do anything, as long as it is influential and a bit different.

How do we make sure that we would create a good legacy and a great history? 

Before, i thought that in working in a group or team, we need to complete the task and the only aim is to shoot the target.

By far, i learned more. It is not just about completing the task, it is about making sure how are we doing it.

Yes, we could reach the goal but how? Are we using people? Do we do it the right and ethical way? But the time we reach the target, it is not so much about getting it done anymore. It is more about the relationship we have with others along the way completing the tasks.

Did we hurt somebody? Did mwe break the law? Did we think about the effects long term? Did we learned something? Did we get something valuable to keep for the rest of our life? Are getting more proud or more humble? 

Public will say good stuff about you, but what about your team members? What about your family? Your friends? Your companions? Those the first to trust in you when nobody even care. They have no doubt in you when you yourself have so much doubt.

I learned , it is all about perspective. That is no wonder people said, there is no way to please everybody. The most important choice is to try your best to please whom you care.

Now, ask yourself, where does your care and concern belongs to? Is it people you don't know, or people you love or you best-friend, God?

SMILE! 

Guess, you've made your choice. Like most people would advice, if you have a dilemma in choosing, choose the one that long-lasting, worth the sacrifice and will make you happy :)

Do what you are doing, stand up for what is right, do it for Allah, not for fame :)

Remember the stories of the messenger.

..... And keep your mind open, admit you know nothing. That'll help your mind keep growing. The more i learn, the more i realize how stupid i was. I actually know nothing about life. We'll see what's next.. 

May God Bless :)

Islamic celebration week

Islamic celebration week was wonderful experience. I as the organizer and as participant learned a lot. What i learned:

1. Do what you believe is right. People will question your stand. You need to be the first to question what you are doing. Find source and  evidences to proof why what you are doing is right. If not, change, leave your ego aside.

2. Never be afraid to be hated. People will curse you, blame you. do the best to still smile at them. Explain your reasons in the best way. They might or might not accept, but we have no power to do anything.

3. If you really think people are hating you, reflect yourself, if they are hating you because you really made a mistake, let go your ego. Make that change. But if you know you are trying to please Allah, stay strong.

4. Do not lose hope. Don't feel you are a loser. If they can't see the value you are holding, the true loser are them. Not you.

5. But do not revenge, being a muslim means you need to act peacefully. Still love them the way Allah ask us to.

6. Any ways, why am i tested anyway?

Because you are the chosen one. Not so many people get the chance the get the training.

7. Charisma? Forget about it. Only ignorant people appreciate Charisma alone. Because arrogant charismatic people can sell stuff but forget without an idea or the thing they have to sell, they would have nothing to sell. But they act like no one could do anything without them

8. If you have no charisma, don't be sad. Yes, normal people won't recognize you, but intellectuals will definitely. Yes, your ideas were stolen, but Allah knows. They get the name temporarily , but you'll get the reward, from God, permanently.

9. If you have charisma, use it the best way. That is a gift. But if you do not use it wisely, you will regret.

10. If you are losing friend while you are actually trying to do something good, you probably should appreciate their move because one day, you will need to tell them, you need to leave.

11. Do not afraid to say I don't know. That is better than to give a stupid and misleading answer.

12. Praise or curse, should not affect you emotionally. 

13. Hijab day, movie night, panel discussion, fast-a-thon. Alhamdulillah, all is well. Everyone learned something, i learned mine.