Life is test.

It is not about the test. Its about how we overcome and face it. 

We all face challenges and there are times when we will suffer. And muslims will be challenged. Palestine is still being occupied. Afghanistan and Syria are still at war. Southeast asia also have their own problem. 

We all being tested. But how do we deal with it?

First, fasten your seat belt. But what is our seatbelt? It is our iman.

Understand that nothing would happen in this life except with Allah' permission. allah is controlling everything, even the smallest things that we can't even imagine.

So don't worry too much! That's why the first thing to do when you are dealing with any difficulty is to turn back to Allah.

Second, we need to conquer the fahm: understanding. There is a different between knowledge and understanding. We can be very knowledgable about so many things but that would not help unless we understand. Why is it important to understand? 

Without understanding you won't be able to put it into practice and you can't turn the knowledge into wisdom. 

Thirdly, we need to understand the importance of plan. They plan, Allah plan but Allah is the best planner. When things get into your way, what are your plans to overcome it? You need to do something of course but what is it? We need to have a strategic plan in order to success, in both this dunya and in Akhirah.

Number four, act upon the knowledge, the understanding and the plans that we have? We all know that action speaks louder than words. Do something even if your are in the state of weakness. Because nothing is free in the world. Yes, we need to rely on Allah, but do your part. When Musa was running away from the people of Pharaoh, he felt very weak and he asked for the help of Allah. But we need to note that Allah ask him to beat his stick. do your part!

Fifth, yes you need to do your part as an individual, but it important to act collectively. Unite in doing something. But remember that unity is not uniformity. Work together to achieve things together. If everyone play their role of what they are good at, things would be much more easier.

Not to forget, hope and optimism is very important. Have hope and trust Allah.mAllah will help those who believe. Have faith in Him.

Hope, is what will make you strong. Without hope, you won't be able to survive because you don't see why you should go through all the difficulties. And how on earth will you survive?

Let us ponder upon the following verses/ayah from the quran:

... And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. 

[Quran 65:2]

And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.

[Quran 65:3]

If you need examples on how to deal with hardships, read the sirah of the prophet. Especially when rasulullah made dakwah to taif. How difficult the situation was. And how many people was with Him at the moment, do you think? There was just zaid ibnu harithah. Just one person by his side. It wasn't easy. And there wasn't a lot of people to help and to comfort him. And during the hijrah to Madinah, there was only abu bakr by Him to go through all those sufferings. His wife and uncle was dead, logically, he can be hopeless but that is not even an option. He keep on doing da'wah and did not lose hope.

How can he survived and still standing? Because he has Allah. Only to Allah he complain his tribulations. He asked for help from Allah only. he surrender and humble himself to Allah. He know that he wasn't left alone. 

Parenting tips

In suratul yusuf, 

When yusuf was disturbed about the dream, he didn't share it with his friends but he directly went to his father, yakub. This will not be the case if Yusuf didn't think of his father as approachable and place to share.

- so parent should be able to be the place where children fell comfortable to share anything,

But how do we get that kind of trust?

- Always hug and kiss your kids. This is to give the warm feeling of protecting them.

- Try not to instruct them. Engage them instead.

- Avoid dragging them or force them to do something. Give sometime  for them to make their decision and to be prepared and get moving.

- Set a rule, make it the tradition. Once they pass the boundary, try to talk and discuss with them.

- Tell and explain to them why we set the rule. Although it is not in the Quran, tell them why we decide to make them do.

- tell them what your feeling is. Not show them. If you are disappointed, tell them. Not show your disappointment so that they didn't get offended.

- always try to link our children with Allah

-Find a right time to discuss about it.

-Don't scold them in public 

-.Make special du'a, so Allah make it easy for you to talk with your children. 

- Watch out for your body language. Sometimes you can be using nice world but yiur facial interaction can be telling another different thing.

- find a happy moment together. Sit down and spend time with them. Do what they do.

- don't embarrass them in front of their or your friends

- teach them to do something you can teach instead of putting them in a class to learn. Be patient and supportive about that. Do not condemn any of their mistakes. They would greatly appreciate your effort and commitment

- praise them! Even in the times they didn't expect to be praised. Try yo make their day.

- focus on the bright side. Focus on the As. Not Bs. Tell them you are proud of them. Then when they gets happy, start to ask about their challenges and how you can do to help. 

Our children are our responsibilities 

Our children will be our investment

So we need to understand the importance of education

Learn! Be knowledgable. Especially about parenting based on the Quran and Assunah

Reflection- do self- search about what we need to change and improve. 59:18

Find a role model. And be that wise person

Search- within ourselves of our action

Evaluate- our actions 

Acknowledge what we did right, what we have done wrong

Reinforce positive parental behavior

Change the wrong behavior

Hang on- don't give up right away

Indicate clearly to the child  his/ her mistake 

Educate the about what's right and what's wrong

Understand them! This is vitally important so we could treat the at our best for their best

Understand that they need two things:

1) The need to belong

2) The need for attention

Practice sharp observation! Understand their behavior, sense what is not right? Jealousy? Lack of love?

Reaction to obstacle-- try to be an active listener to them. Let them share how they feel. Spend time on this. This is very important. Help them to go through life!

All in all,

- Leading by example! 

- Use mercy, kindness and gentleness- 21:107

- Teach them respect (17: 23-24)

- Do things step by step and consider the level of the child.

- Communicate clearly and effectively

1) start with a question.

2) 3 times is more than enough

- Allow children to express their feelings and share their happiness and pain

- Never say: this is not a problem, you are a big boy now.

- Teach that good deeds erase bad ones

- help the child to be capable and develop skills

Last but not least, say more yes and less no :)

Wallahualam 

Better Muslimah, Better generation

Yaumun nisa', Muktamar Maryland 2015

Dr. Hamidah

1. Being a good servant

- be grateful 

- have visions

- make sure to have a strong foundation about the deen

 If you do bad things, do good things because the good things will erase the bads.

- ittaqillah- be aware of Allah. Fear Allah but we need to be able to get near to Allah, not run away from Him.

2. Having a sound heart

- our heart can be hide, but our action will show how our heart is doing

- it is very difficult to maintain our heart and iman, but we need to so our best

3. Understand her deen

- even if we have our specialty in certain field, but we need to make sure we atleast have the minimal knowledge in Islam.

- able to read the quran

- understand what we recite in prayers

- improve our knowledge

- understand some surah atleast

- read the sirah. Atleast a book a year

- memorize some du'a from the quran, make it ritual

4. Possessing high morality( akhlaq karimah)

- show nobility in character.

- be kind to everyone. 

- portray that the Muslims are the best in Akhlaq

- the way of dress

5. Being an agent of mercy

- cleanliness, a lot of room for improvement!

- be 

6. Maximizing her life to serve the deen and humanity

- think about the future, 

- What we can do to contribute

- think about the ummah

But how?

~ know your tharget

~ know your strengths

~ know your weaknesses

~ get organized, structure your day

~ start by doing small things in a great way

 Don't way until something, to start. 

Be practical and realistic. Make sure to do it.

Ihsan- doing with excellence.

- do it with our best. 

Serba-sedikit tentang dakwah

Lama rasanya tak tulis dalam bahasa. Tapi ini nota yang sempat dicatat dalm majlis ilmu diMutamar 2015, Maryland . Tentang dakwah. Kita dianjur untuk berkongsi dan menyampaikan, jadi, isyaAllah ada baiknya jika nota ini dikongsikan disini. 

Dakwah itu jalan yang rasulullah telah gariskan. Dakwah itu jalan yang perlu dilalui oleh muslim mencontohi cara Rasulullah sampaikan dan tidak terkeluar dari jalan itu supaya tak sesat.

Tujuan dakwah itu adalah untuk menyeru kearah Allah walaupun topiknya pelbagai seperti topik ekonomi, hati, politik, hubungan sesama manusia, selagi ia meninggikan kalimah Allah, itu dipanggil dakwah, yang penting niat dan fokusnya kerana Allah. Tak kiralah caranya santai atau serius, berirama atau tegas, ianya tetap dakwah namanya,

Dalam dakwah perlu ada leader, program dan strategy. Lebih baik jika secara majmuk. Dakwah itu bukan sekadar di podium tapi bagaimana cara kita mengubah jahiliah kepada makrifah.

Ajaklh manusia kepada Allah walaubagaimana cara sekalipun. 

Allah ngayatuna

Dan subhanaAllah.

Permasalahan dakwah:

- dalam keluarga: 

Termasuk tanda2 bahawa seseorng itu akan berjaya di akhir ialah kembali kepada Allah diawal langkah.

( ibnu attoilah)

- niat kena benar dan juga kena selalu bertawakkal.

Mendidik ank itu sejak awal. 

Akhir surah al-hijr,

Invite. Act of love and kindness

Tugas kita hanya untuk menyampaikan.

Kita tak de hak untuk memaksa untuk mengubah

Satu hari orang berubah kerana dakwah kita pun, bukan hak kita untuk tahu.

Buat sahaja takat yang kita mampu dan dengan cara yang betul.

Zaman nabipun para sahabat, ada yang diakhir hidup mereka baru terima islam,

Even umar accepted islam 5 tahun sahaja sebelum meninggal

Nabi nuh alaihisslam dakwah selama 900 tahu , dengan kesabaran

Bersabarlah dalam berdakwah

Dalam berdakwah, kena bijak,

Walaupun menyampaikan perkara yang benar, kena ada hikmah.

Tunjukkan keindahan islam. Jangan mula2 dah cakp pasal halal dan haram.

Cari titik persamaan dulu, yg boleh attract orang masuk islam.

Fahami culture dan psychology kumpulan yg nak diajak itu.

Buat research supaya boleh guna cara yang terbaik untuk mengajak dan memperkenal.

Hayati dan dalami surah al-asr. Jadikan surah ini sebagai motivasi dlam berdakwah.

Semua manusia itu kerugian melainkan yang ingat mengingati. 

Kena beriman. Tp sebelum itu kena ada ilmu.

Dan keimanan takkan ada tanpa amal.

Dalam hidup ada perkara yang kita perlu jaga:

Nyawa, akal, harta, kehormatan

Dan ada yang perlu kita promosikan:

Agama, kehidupan

Islam ini syumul. Even dalam peperangan pun ada peraturan.

Jangan bunuh wanita, kanak2, jangan musnahkan Tmpat ibadat, jangan musnahkan tanaman, jangan juga bunuh penduduk dan orang ramai. 

Ini peperangan atau apa? Itulah keindahan islam

Rasionalize! 

Dalam dakwah, ada masanya perlu kita rasionalize kan semua perintah. Kena ada sebab.

Tell them why. Jangan kita paksa mereka dan beritahu apa yang boleh dan apa yang tak boleh, tetapi, bagitahu kenapa, supaya mereka faham dan seolah kita membimbing mereka membuat pilihan

Lead by example.

Kita boleh bicara dan bercakap sebanyak dan sekerap mana yang kita mahu tapi sedar bahawa kita action speaks louder than words. Jangan cakap saja tapi buatnya tidak

Masalah manusia:

Spiritually and intelligently weak.

Baca surah luqman. Banyak nasihat yang ada dalam surah itu untuk kita pelajari dari surah tu sehingga Allah rakamkan dalam al-quran

Dengan budak kecil, jangan lecture. Diorng x suka kita membebel.

Tapi berceritalah. Even 70% dalam quran itu kisah-kisah. Share dengan anak2 sejak kecil. Jangan buat macam formal. Buat santai2. Tengah masak, tengah drive, mereka suka. Silap2 mereka akan ceritakan kisah itu kepada kawan2 mereka.