Why So Emotional?

It took me years before I am willing to accept the fact. But I think it is time. 

Dear friends and family.

I know we have been through so many things and so many situations. Sometimes even a very small matter could put us into a fight. I know I have been very quiet and very secretive about my feeling. But actions speaks louder than words. 

You own my respect! I know dealing with someone like me is difficult. There are so many things that I can't tolerate: lights, noise and scold. As much as I could give it a try, sometimes I failed. I run from the situation and find a dark room to hide. I know it is hard to understand people like me ( well, sometimes I don't either). 

Not everything in life is explainable. But let me just try to explain how people of my kind works:

We feel very deeply. When we are sad, we can't talk. That is why we run away because it is better for us to let you hate us for running away from problems than to let you know that we are too upset. Because the fact is, we don't put all the blame on you. Sometimes, we even hate ourselves for being overly emotional. For that reason, we need time to calm down and tell ourselves that it is all gonna be better. 

We hardly trust people because we know our hearts are fragile. If you have our trust, please please take a good care of that trust because we believe you for that. Once you own our trust, and you break it, please understand that it will never be the same. We may forgive but the scar is deep.

When we fall in love, sometimes, we are too much. I care for you more than you could ever imagine. You will have multiple times to make mistakes, we are not easily mad. We give chances because in our opinion, people make mistakes and people should be given chances to make up. We hate judging others because we know we don't have the whole picture.

When you see us in tears, that does not simply mean we are sad. We might be very mad but we can't get angry. The only way to express our disapointment is through tears. When we are happy and grateful, sometimes, we can be in tears as well. 

I know I know, we are very confusing. That is why we often run away from people because we hate making you confused. Even when you ask, it is hard for us to explain because sometimes, we hate to admit that we are too sensitive. 

Trust me, sometimes we do hate ourselves for being overly emotional. But the fact is, it is someting we live with. We tried to change but we can't easily change our soft hearts. We don't expect everyone to understand us.

But I am writing this so that you know that it is absolutely fine if you give up on us. But if you could spend some time trying to get to know us, we will appreciate you till we die. Not everyone is able to do that. 

If you ask me why am I  so emotional, the only thing I can tell is, I have my own story and I didn't choose this way of life. Having a soft heart is a blessing and a burden at the same time. If you are willing to bear patiently with me, I will definitely love you more!

So, to those who are mad for me being me, I am sorry. There is nothing else I could do. I apologize for making you feel bad, but I won't feel sorry for being who I am. I decide to love myself and stop questioning why I am so fragile.


Oh yes, I am not trying to get your sympathy, but this is just in case one day you are destined to live with me or people like me, feel free do your research( read: read this post again).

Stop wishing anyone is different

Haha~

Since I am now officially done with my undergraduate studies, I think I have more time to write. I guess, I would like to share more about my thoughts and feelings here ( like this is something new)

If you are following my blog, you are most likely to know my style of writing and thinking. Oh yes, thank you for your time.

Well, since I just graduated ( the hottest topic after this will be about marriage (and jobs). In the previous post, I did mention that I am now a new person, at least on how I view myself. Therefore, I would like to start turning my real life experiences into valuable lessons for my future. 

Now let's dive into the topic.

I am 22 and most of my life, I have spent by living in rooms and houses of different people. Living with family until I was 12 and then different roommates once I admitted into a hostel. It changes almost every year. I then when to a preparation college and have another roommate before I flew to the US. Currently, I am living with two other in a nice house.

I hardly have difficulties living with anyone. Most of the time, I just remind myself that everyone is different and they come from different background and carry different loads. However, sometimes I am guilty of wishing something about them is different.

It is not that I hate them or can't live with them. But as a normal human being, I wronged them by hoping that they could be better and expect different characters and attitude from them.

I know this is considered normal to most people and that is why I I decide to touch on this. But when we started to think again, doesn't this thing called dissatisfaction? Or easily translated as ungratefulness?

OK, let me give some example. Have you ever wish someone is a better listener, gentler, more helpful or just feel like screaming: "oh why are you not like the other person?"

Anyway, do you get my point here? All I want to point out is RESPECT. I personally feel like if we are practicing the bad habit of wishing someone else is different, we are not respecting that particular person. Yes, it is not like I want someone else to replace him or her. But the fact that you are expecting them to behave differently just (ahhhhh I don't know how to explain.. )something and it is wrong!

I feel like this is one of the biggest lessons I learned throughout this years. One day, if I ever get married, I hope I could read this post and remind myself that "just like whatever happens to you, happens for reasons,  WHO YOU MET is the same thing."  

Let it be they are good or bad, you are no one to judge. You are smart enough to acknowledge if that should be an example for you to follow or it should be something you promise to yourself to do. But wishing he or she is different shows you are not accepting what God has planned for you.

This makes me scared because, what if I find someone and marry him and after a few years, I feel like he is not the best husband? Am I gonna find a new one? Wishing he is somebody else?

Or even worse I have a child and I put an expectation but he or she unable to fulfill my dream, then what? Am I gonna wish he or she is like others child? 

GOD! NO!

That's why I feel like this is big deal somehow. Be content and stop dreaming of something from others. Just find a mirror and look at yourself, fix what you need and trust God.

Trust me, if you wish someone is different and they changed, yes you will be happy, but after a short time, you will AGAIN, wish something else is different. You will never be satisfied.

After all, this is worldly life, nobody is perfect, NOT EVEN YOU!

Thanksgiving 2016

To the wonderful people I have met here in the United States.

Coming over and having the opportunity to see how things are being done in the other parts of the world is amazing! It makes you think and perceive things differently.

For thanksgiving, I would definitely want to thank God for trusting me to be here. I felt so lucky to meet some people who changed my life. I must say, I have two wonderful housemates. Mira and Lin. I won’t lie, they are the best people I’ve known here. Although I had known them before I came here, I am really thankful for having them with me on this journey for about three years.

Mira, the girl I met and was the one who survived living with me, just the two of us in a different culture. She taught me that life is not always how we see it. Sometimes, we really want this to happen yet that happened and we must just accept! She taught me that in most situation, there are just no one to blame. Although we think we are doing things right, that does not mean the other people is wrong. She taught me the real meaning of acceptance. Accept the differences and love the imperfections! She is the cutest thing!

Lin, although she came after a year we were here, by today, she is just as important. I must say she has her way of doing things. She taught me the meaning of persistence. Keep doing what you are doing and trust your inner voice. Sometimes, you need to be stubborn and you should. You know what’s best and but never be arrogant. To some, she seems grumpy, but to me, she is a loyal friend. She trusts when no one else would. But the thing is, she is very picky of who she should trust and love.

I must write about three more people I met here; Cherylann, Monique, and Kristen! I would love to write about Hayley but I already have a post of her, RIP. So.......

Cherylann, she is an African-American non-traditional student. I know her by Mira, they were in the same class and major. Usually, I will see her on the bus, almost every day actually.  She is the nicest person. When I and Mira were very shy and afraid, there she comes to make sure we are comfortable doing things in the new environment. She really wants to make sure we be ourselves. Praises and compliments are always from her lips. Sometimes,  I do get emotional by just thinking about her. I do feel the love she has for all of us. I feel like I am well been taken care of her as her daughter. She worries about us just like a mom does. She trust us on things but never forgets to give is useful bits of advice.

Monique, one word; ambitious. She has her goals and target when she does something. I know her the president of MCC when I was the vice. I work closely with her but we have different skills and specialty. She is someone I would look up as a good leader. She knows herself and tries to understand people around her and make sure things work. She is good and understanding that different people could contribute in different ways. So she would divide work and give each part to the right person, the person who she knows will be able to not just complete the work but would do an outstanding job. She appreciates differences in a team and makes sure no one would feel left out. I admire the way she trusts people!


Kristen, I met her four months ago in my management class. She sits just next to me and she seems so friendly. Then she became my CEO for a team project. Trust me, she is too, a good leader! She is very opinionated but still considers others’ view on things. Very smart and very pretty! :) Okay, that might sound nothing but believe it or not, a week before thanksgiving, while we were waiting outside of the prof’s office to ask about our project, she asked me if I have ever invited to a thanksgiving dinner. She was shocked when I said no since this is my final year in States. So she was kind enough to invite me to her house on thanksgiving. So I was excited and asked Lin to come with me. That was one of the best experience! She has a wonderful family. We were given the best hospitality! Just about three months of knowing each other and just one class together, she made that call. I was amazed.


These are just some of people I met a school. If you are reading this post and I did not mention too, if I know you, just trust me when I say there must be at least one thing I love about you. To me, life is just beautiful. Everyone has something they can offer! I’m glad that I’ve met and known amazing people! Thank God, Alhamdulillah!

Jealousy

“Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.”

Prophet Muhammad -

It is a normal thing for a human being like us all be vulnerable to jealousy. It is just the nature that we live in a community, thus we tend to look outward instead of inward. We observe people around us and analyze almost everything they have with them and compare those with our own selves.

To be exact, we are very interested in what they have and own, which we are lacking.

Well, this would happen only if we look just upon those who are physically better than us. When we really think that life is a competition, we will definitely think what we have will never be enough for us.

Think for a moment of a person you really want to be, and imagine if you could switch life with them, Would you? Why?

To be honest, it is tempting to say yes. But when you think again, it is just scary… Yes, we all might be tired of being us, dealing with our problems, and imperfections… We wish we live just the way the other person who don’t own the problem we are facing… and have all the goodness they enjoy. But,

Think again.. Do you really know their whole story? If you do,  would you still switch your life with them?

Maybe not.

Yes, you might feel like escaping your routine. But when we all think about it and realize how many people in the world would fight just to live your life, you might change your mind.

It is sad how the people you were once so close with can become just another stranger you don’t know.

Can you imagine a close friend or family hate you just because you have better things, according to them… It is just so frustrating. When you got what you want, or succeed, you will just be so happy. But it is very unfortunate if someone we love just turn into an enemy just because of jealousy.

And again.  

Pay close attention to those  who don’t clap when you win.

Not only jealousy make you ungrateful, it also makes you full of hate towards the person who loves you.

But again,think about it. It wasn’t their fault to get things you wish you have it (if they didn’t do anything unethical just to get them). You are no one to judge whether they deserve it.

When a person gets married before you, what exactly you want from them, get a divorce, do you think you will happy after that?

When a person gets pregnant before you and has kids, what exactly you want from them? Abort or kill the kids? Tell me exactly, what do you want to happen?

When a person is liked or loved by others, what exactly you want from them? Change their personality and make people hate them? What?

Just ask yourself, where is their fault to justify your hatred towards them? Especially if we are discussing the person you close to.

Trust me. It is all about your feelings. Your insecurities and your wasted time counting their blessings. Yes, if you have this problem, let me tell you, It is just because are counting other’s blessings instead of your own.

Stop competing. I think, one thing about this world nowadays is that everyone thinks this life is a competition. And we spend too much time thinking about how to pull them down without making any move to improve ourselves. This is really sad.

Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon!

It is real, indeed

Just in case you actually reading my posts on my blog, you should be aware that I just post an entry about imagining yourself at your own funeral, earlier this month.

It turns out, my good friend Hayley, just passed away and I was at the funeral home standing in front of her death body.

This is actually my first time losing a friend who I just met a few days before her death. I have lost family members, friends, teachers but most of them passed away long after our last meet.

Just a little something about Hayley:

She was a very nice and lovely lady. I know each other since the other friend of mine, Cherylann, introduce us to each other. From there, we were close. I am interested in her stories of life which I thought very challenging. I know she needs someone with her to go through life. I remember sitting with her and while we were talking, I could see tears in her eyes, but she still deny that she was in difficulties.

I wasn’t a very good friend, I see her, only when I see her. But every time we meet, we give each other hugs. She was a hard working girl. Really, she always thinking about her job and how to get money since she wasn’t from a wealthy family. She was majoring in creative writing and she was a talented poet and writer. I still have her writing with me.

She was supposed to be graduating with me this December, but God knows best.

She kept asking about going out together with Cherylann, Mira, Lynn and Me.  But we keep postponing the plan to later and finally all five of us get together, but at her funeral.

…

Her death makes things real. I always think about, what if I care too much about graduation and getting a job yet death knock the door first. This is life. We never know when is our turn to go. We just need to be prepared. Frankly, I fear death. I fear that I die in a state which I don’t what to be.

Being a Muslim, I know I must hope for a good kind of death. Death is not something we should run from, however, it also should not be something we chase after. Death is about time.  God had written when and where we shall die. The focus now is how do we make sure we won’t die with regret.

And that makes me think about some questions in life.

Have I spent enough time with people I love?

Why should I worry about things I should not?

Why is it hard for me to forgive?

What kind of life do I really want to live?

Why should I care so much about what others think of me?

Am I living the present life?

Life gives many options. There is pressure everywhere that make us do things we don’t wanna do. But that is what life is about, right. Life is a test. So, the key is to ask strength from God to make the right decision and the ability to keep standing for what is right,

It is our lives, we decide. Well, Death is real. It is not gonna get further, but it is getting closer each time. Just remember, From God we all from and to Him we shall return.

When someone you always seen walking around campus is no longer there, and you see her dead body in front of you, waiting to be buried, you then realize, it is all real. Death don’t wait.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirajoon.

Be honest, will ya?

I am a coward. Not too long ago, I was know for being someone who have the courage to be honest. Being honest is definitely not easy. Well courage it self means the ability to do something that frightens one. It is just hard to be honest.. Too much risks comes with it. People would hate you, backbite you and you will hurt someone you love. It is not at all the best feeling to in one of those positions.

However, I am the believer of the saying “Please don’t hide things from me that keep me wondering… just be honest with me even if it hurts.” -Ritu Ghatourey

I just hate the feeling of being left uninformed or cheated. Just tell me even if it hurt!The truth may hurt a little but a lie hurts forever. I know now what exactly I want in a relationship. Honesty. Even if it is a family relationship, friendship or love relationship. BEing truthful is one of my top priorities.

For that reason, I always wanted to be able to be honest. Speak the truth even your voice shakes. Like I said, although it sounded so simple, but being able to convey the truth is very hard. Most people just decide not to take the role and rather anybody else do it for them, Or ath least, let them just find out themselves.

Being a human, I must imagine being the person who not know the truth. I feels bad. So I decided to be honest no matter what. HOWEVER,,,,

Things change. I am not the person I used to be. As the time passes by, I realize there are some many things about myself that had been changed. Unfortunately, backwards. I had turned into a coward. I am afraid to say the truth. I avoid being truthful just because I hate hurting people. However, I still know that even for myself, I don’t want perfect I want honest.

Especially when you are angry, I hate backbiting. I have people do it to me so I must not do it to people. BUt to solve that, we must be honest about our feelings to the person we had unsatisfying feelings. I just feel like I deserve to know if anyone hate my ations of anything, thus I tried to tell the truth in front of the person I love, when I get upset because I having wrong judgment if I do not tell. Unfortunately,,,,

It feels so hard and feels like I just want to stop being honest because it is so difficult. Sometimes, I think love can change your opinion about life just very easily if you are not strong enough. I almost give up. No wonder they said love is blind. Moreover, they said love is when hurting him or her would hurt you more.I hate the moment when suddenly my anger turns into tears. I just too scared to hurt th person I love.

But that is the problem. I do not want to be weak. I don’t want to feel like my honesty was a wrong decision. Because If I feel that way, I will surely never able to tell the truth any more. Although love is blind, I do not want to sink in love. I love love but I must know where I am standing. I know what I want in life.

I am so tired of being who I am not. I hate being impressive because the truth is, I just want to be honest. That does not mean that I need to be very stright forward because I do care about the feelings of others. But I need to sure that I would never sacrifice honesty just to make sure everyone loves me. That is the perfect attribute for a real coward. If something is important and the other person should be well=informed, I must do my role. Let not relationship falls just for you not being honest.

That being said, remember that honesty is a noble attribute therefore, never say sorry for being honest.

Imagine yourself at your own funeral

I am in my final year at college. In other words, it is my last few months here in the United States. I will miss this place so much. I learned a lot about my own self. I lose and find myself here. When I first came here, I did not have so many things to achieve within three and a half years. I just wanted to learn. Learning has always been my life goal. I just wanted to get better and better every time.

I took a time to look back these past years to see what I have been achieving and what I have not. Indeed, life is actually a very short journey but it is very puzzling. There are so many paths to choose. Sometimes, you will feel very proud of yourself, but sometimes, it feels really disappointing when you realize there are things in life that if you could turn back time, you would definitely go back and choose another path.

Sometimes, I felt that too. But lately, I been spending my time alone and to think about what else should I do before I leave this country, but I could not help myself from thinking about what else should I achieve if I were to leave this world in few months coming. It is little scary for some people, to think about death. However, it is to me something I should think about. At my age, usually, people talk about marriage a lot. Yes, me too.. I think about marriage too. Marriage is exciting and scary at the same time. Sometimes, it is just easier not to think about it when you associate it with the responsibilities and everything. But it is definitely something to think about.

But unlike marriage, death is something sure. We all will surely experience death. Most people imagine themselves at their dream wedding but a lot fewer people think about themselves at their own funeral. Let’s just think about it for a moment, A cliche question to ask ourselves;

What if you know your life will be taken away in a few days.. What will you do differently?

.

.

.

And what is stopping you from doing so now?

And then I asked my very self to imagine my own self at my own funeral. What regrets would I have?

You might burst into tears when thinking seriously about it but I will give you one good news…

.

.

.

You still have a chance to make some important changes.

Trust me, when you take the time to think about it, You will see some changes you will make in life and before you know it, you are a happy and peaceful person now. Let me tell you why…

Imagining your own funeral will remind you of the kind of person you want to be and the priorities that are most important to you.

• You will not easily give up on your dreams.  You know you must do it because it is not at all an option to fall apart

• Even if you at all fall apart, you will have the best reason to put your pieces back together again because you how many painful regrets can be.

• This is your chance to fix things. If you have bad relations with your family members, make sure you don’t die in the state of disappointment, wishing you could come back to the world and spend more time with them. Bad relations with people, fix it, bad relation with God, do something about it…

• You will stop worrying too much about things that would bother you so much… those things do not worth a thing… End hatred in your heart, stop being jealous of others. They have their lives and you have yours. Make yours worth it.

• Just start focusing on what really matter. Define who you want to be and be one. Stop spending money you don’t have to buy the thing you don’t need to impress people you don’t even care! Have heard that before, yes! Think about it.

Well.. this is just how I feel about life and what make me keep moving and motivated to be better and better each day. Different people might have different ways to live life. But yeah, just give it a try.. Set an alone time with yourself without scrolling the facebook, Instagram, or snapchat. Without playing the shows on your screen. Resist the temptation and try to focus, just, this time, to think about yourself. Imagine you in your own funeral.

May God bless :)

Things to Know Before Getting Married

Haha... Laugh all you want for me writing about this :P

Anywayssss

The points below were taken from the book -20 pieces of advice to my sister before her marriage- by the noble scholar Badr Ali Al-Utaybee. I just think the points below are important to remind me later on.. I did not copy all twenty for my own reason and so you go ahead and find the book. It is a very interesting book with many good points. So yeah, go get the book if you want to know more. Trust me, the details are just as important as an eye-opener. Thanks mira for lending me the book.

1. Rectify your relationship with Allah and Allah will rectify your relationship with others

2. To obey your husband in Al-maruf itself is a good deed

3. Your feminine nature is from your greatest weapons

4. Purity and orderliness testament of your lofty characteristics

5. If mistakes or disagreements occur between you and your husband then submerge them in the ocean of love

6. Part of loving your husband is to love those whom he loves

7. Marital life is not communal life

8. To pardon your husband is a noble quality and recognizing your mistake is virtue

9. Do you know his right over you and your rights over him?

10. Be one who advises, not one who criticizes

11. Jealousy can be an evil Disposition

12. Patience is the key to relief

13. Supplication is the weapon of the believer

14. Everyday be a new wife

15. The quickest way to man’s heart : Through his eyes and his ears

16. How do you behave when he is angry

17. Marital discord itself is not a shortcoming but the way you address it is

Respect yourself!

Note to myself:

I Miss You.

Sincerely,

Me

***

This might sound very depressing. Cheer up a little bit! Smile before we dive deeper.

Don’t get me wrong. I am very grateful for my life right now. I really am. Through these years, I’ve been achieving so many and blessed with so much. If I could turn back time, I would probably take the same exact path.

I am very happy that I did make progress in my life. Sometimes, I do ask myself. Do I really deserve all these? The answer is an absolute NO. Things I get, Thing I have, Things I experience are all things from God the Almighty.

That is why I think, I need to take a step back and look myself clearly in the mirror, ask that person in the reflection how did I went through the times when I don’t see the light. I must thank God.

Despite the hardships I thought I went through, I see myself in a better place, a better position than the old me. Alhamdulillah. I did acknowledge there are people who get jealous of what I have. Although I think they really should not be jealous, I know it is the nature of we as humans.

I am almost certain, with Allah’s will, I will never forget this moment in this years. Priceless. Some of my dreams really come true. But by time, I fell something. I lose something. Something I would call Self-respect.

Ever heard the quote:

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you and make you happy.” - Robert Tew

?

Yes, I think I just lose that.

I remember being who I am and do what I want without trying to please anyone else but me and God. I just do what’s good according to His standard and try improving myself from time to time. I was polite and kind because I know I must. I don’t care if people understand the struggle.

My aim was to be better every day. Of course, along the way, with kindness, you will earn love especially when you do not expect as the return of your good deeds.

But today, I think I have just lost that. I am in the time where I have people who love me and I love them. But you know what they said about love, Love can make you blind.

Who does not want love in life? Love can make you feel a life and make you days more meaningful. But for me, the thing gets disappointing when you start to love people so much.  You do not realize that until you suddenly caught yourself in a situation you miss yourself.

I definitely love my friends, I love my family, I love the people in my life. I appreciate their existence and could not imagine myself without them. Words can’t describe my love to them but hey, I am losing my self-respect.

I feel like I need to say yes to every request they make. I feel like I need to make myself always available for them even though I know I should spend more time with God. I understand that love demands sacrifice but I think I need Allah more.

I disappoint people a lot with my behavior and I don’t know how to apologize. Yes, they are there when I have issues but I feel like I hurt myself more every time I hurt them. I hate myself too much everytime I frustrate them.

I lose control over myself. What am I now? A puppet? I have no one to blame in this case. I blame me. They did no mistake or wrong. It was me who lets their words and behaviors affects my feelings too much.

Sincerely. I love the people around me but this love is hurting me too much. I must somehow disappear myself for you people to get back what I always needed.

I am happy with my life, one day I shall die. I need to make sure my life is on track. Love is wonderful. Love is indeed essential. But excessive love will definitely make you regret one day.

I would rather regret now than on the big day.

Traveling to create memories.

In my last post, I did mention about my awesome trip.. So this time, I will touch about travelling, not yet about the place, but let's talk generally about the travel partners if you wanna go in group.

People once said, "travel alone if you want to find yourself. But if you want to create memories, go in group":)

Travelling in group has its own pros and cons. Sometimes, if you have good companies, your trip will be a blast, regardless how bad the place you visit is. Good companies helped you go through ups and downs. When you are weak, you sure have someone else to keep you going.

In group, it can be so much fun and at the same time, it can be extremely stressful. That is why you will need to choose with whom you are going to be travelling with. Choose wisely the people you will spend most of your time with, because once you decide, there is no turning back. I purposely put the words to make it terrifying. Because it was to me. Me being an introvert, I do have limit to myself which after every while, I need a space for myself to think and to reflect in things. I need time to talk to myself. But when I decide to travel in group, it is almost constantly, I need to be with people. When you are so close with someone, you will probably find the smallest thing in their habit could annoy you. And for sure, there are littles things about you annoy others as well. Those are common things when travelling, especially when you started to discover things you never knew. The key is, when you get irritated, remember, someone else must be hating you right now, too! So, do not blame. It is all small stuff anyway. Do not waste too much energy in that, just enjoy your trip.

Besides, make sure you know how to communicate, because this can be the biggest problem and cause so much tension. Whether you’re on a trip with your best friend or a new friend this is important. You just need to tell to everyone at the beginning and if possible, repeat occasionally, that if anything at all is bothering anyone on the trip, just be open and speak out. I really learned a lot from this. It is not that I was uncomfortable during this trip but it is just as a normal human being, everyone just has their own opinion and way at doing things. So, when there is clash, it can be very bothering. So, learn how to communicate things out!

Speaking about communication, keep in mind that your friends aren’t mind readers. For that reason, you yourself need to know what make you behave in such ways. If you are grumpy, you need to know why, then let them know. Some people will be in their worst mood if they are hungry. Some will be when they are tired and some will be when they disagree with somethings. Speak your mind. Yes you will always hope someone could be very understanding enough to read your feelings but sometimes things  aren’t the way we wanted it to be. So, be considerate. Everyone is tired, you might be exhausted but if you do not speak up, they might not take a break.

Also, regarding that, if someone demand for something when you are in a rush, do not be mad. Yes, you might have something on your mind to achieve in your time frame. Especially they are your travelling partner, consider them as people with feelings too. You might think you are the most responsible people on your small group but when travelling, it is not being right as the primary purpose.  It is to make sure everyone is happy and enjoy the trip. As long as it will not cost you a whole lot, consider their request for a break even although you know we need to be there in 5 minutes. Because it is not your trip alone, it is their trip as well. Not to forget, ask yourself,: does everyone want to do all the same things. Travelling as you know has so many purpose and interest. So, you can not force everyone do everything you want to do. Remember, it is okay if we don’t do everything together, but if it is a group activity, make sure everyone will be enjoying it.

Even though I have made travelling in group seem so difficult, trust me there are a lot of wonderful things you will discover in group. When travelling, you get the opportunity to meet different people from different places. Travelling and interacting with a variety of people can help build or improve social skills with very little effort. Not only does travelling improve communication skills, it can actually boost self-confidence, since ideas and opinions are able to be more clearly expressed, shared and understood. So, go ahead and explore the world with fantastic people, trust me your character might change, hopefully positively.

Till then,

God bless :)

Ramadhan 2016: Good Manner

A new post! Yayyy!

It is almost the end of this great month of Ramadhan. This year is different. Usually, I have a long list to keep and make sure I will be able to check them by the end of the month. However, this time, I do not have a very long list. In fact, I do not have a to-do list.

But, I have my to-be list. A list of characters which I want to ensure I become, not just do.

Interestingly, I think this year is the year where I meet a lot of new people from different backgrounds. Starting with different organizations I joined in college, working with different teams of projects, different people of colors in the Masjid and people I meet through my trips. Yes, I just came back from the most exciting trip! (to me at least). But we’ll discuss that in other posts, insyaAllah( God Willing).

This time, I just want to jot down things I learned and still learning to be and how I discover the importance of those as well as what I got when I actually change my attitude. The most important thing is, why you should too :)

Being a Muslim, we always motivated to do better every day. And when the blessed month comes, it just happens that we want to make sure we make use of it the best way. One day I encountered a saying which we all know by heart:

Muhammad was once asked: and what is the most likely to send people to paradise?

BE CONSCIOUS OF GOD and GOOD MANNER.

So, then I look into a mirror and asked my own self; Do I have enough of both to take me into paradise?

Let be honest here, well, not even near. So I must do something about it. And maybe I should use this month as the time frame. Start acknowledging what is lacking and be one!

Okay, before I proceed, I must mention here that This not at all an attempt to say how do I am and how bad anyone is. This just to share an experience of how a simple act could make you so much happier

Let others have the glory!

Trust me, it is really useless to fight against who’s right. Especially on things that do not really matter. You are wasting your energy and maybe it will cost you a friend. There are reasons why in Islam, we should leave unnecessary debates. Yes, sometimes you just want to prove that you are right or you want to tell people how special you are. There is indeed nothing wrong with that but sometimes you just gotta be smart and mature enough to leave the conversation without telling everyone how great you are. That is called ego!

Why do I choose to put this as the first thing to share? Sadly, within the Muslim community, I must say we still need a lot of improvements in this aspect. I see people fight a lot. It hurts me to see adults fighting over each other just to prove who’s better while we know those things doesn’t matter. People can not talk for days, for months and years just for a stupid reason. How can we be united if everyone resists to just lose a little, for the sake to make others happy?

Well, I am also guilty of doing this and that is why it is on my list. The next time you are about to go into an argument, or you are about to mention how wonderful you are, just drop your ego and choose to be kind over being right.

Next, a very similar thing to start being is, resist the urge to criticize! Almost every day, we will encounter things that are unappealing to our eyes and incomplete to our personal standards. It can be a way of doing things or a look of something or anything. Our tongues are fast to criticize. We might be saying the truth but did we realize how much it can hurt feelings? Just for your own, how much time did people come up to you and criticize something about you and you would sincerely respond by saying “ I really appreciate you pointing out my flaws”?

We all need to be truthful and honest but if it is something that is doesn’t really matter, why should you create a scene? We all want to live a peaceful life. Therefore, sometimes when we dislike something, it is a lot better to keep it to ourselves. And you know what, when you stop criticizing, you will realize that you are starting to be more tolerant and appreciative.

One bonus manner that you would learn from this is patience. You will start being cool and not just busy pointing out flaws of others. Chill dear, why so serious?

To end this, I would like to make mention again, put away your ego, stop mentioning your good deed because it will definitely put you far from sincerity. When you are in a debate, smile and let them win if it is really worthless to stand up for. Put away your pride and stop pointing mistakes of others because you know you want to be a human with good manner.

Till then, let’s do this!

The art of decision making

Everything is starting to paying off! Amazing…

I am overwhelmed. It is very hard to stand and look at everything that I am receiving, These can’t be. How come?

God is greatest! I surrender. Only he knows how I feel the whole week. Sometimes, I do really ask myself if this is close to the end? Because everything is really paying off. I remember writing my last post about everything will be okay, it is not okay, it is not the end.

But how about when everything seems not just ok, but awesome? I felt guilty for every complaint i have made, every doubt i have i God and in myself. I must thank Him and everyone who have helped me thinking about the options. This is humbling.

If you know me well, I am that type of person who is afraid of making decisions. I will take lots and lots of time just to make a wise decision although I know sometimes I could just go with the flow without thinking too much.

Every time, I try not to make decisions based on my current situation, I must make decisions based on where I want to be. I remember trying not to take any challenges just because I am so  sad and weak, but thinking about my future, I know I need to choose the other path.

I said: My, Ask yourself, what is your goal! Your ultimate goal, what, who, and where you want to be. If the option will get you closer to that, go for it, if not, choose the other!

The decision is hard to be made, especially when it involve where you want to be and where you should be. Well, The key is to respect your future self. Honor her!Because sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing is exactly the same thing!

Once you have made a decision, don’t look back, Just make it work! Yes, be prepared to be wrong! Follow your heart and passion. So that, when you start to thought you are making a wrong decision, you will still try to make it a right one. How? By learning and gaining most from whatever experience you are dealing with and then, fix it, not to suffer from tons of regrets.

But before making decisions, I must remind myself of things… Like:

Don’t make a permanent decision based on your temporary emotion!

Stop looking for other’s approval,

Don’t just follow the public opinion

Because sometimes, we just need to make a decision that is the best for yourself, not for anyone else. If we decide not to make any decision, that means we are deciding on something and probably, one day we will understand why we need to spend enough time to make sure we make a smart decision.

Sometimes, when I get so confused, I will flip a coin or ask someone make a decision for me because at that point, while waiting for the result, I know I will start hoping for something which means I do have an opinion, like suddenly!

But usually, I will play around with what-ifs… imagining scenes and ask myself questions! Most importantly, don’t let your emotion change your decision!

Well, I still remember a quote from someone saying you are the CEO of your life, so start making decisions now!

…. And of course, do not forget to ask Lord for guidance because He knows what we don’t know!