Why So Emotional?

It took me years before I am willing to accept the fact. But I think it is time. 

Dear friends and family.

I know we have been through so many things and so many situations. Sometimes even a very small matter could put us into a fight. I know I have been very quiet and very secretive about my feeling. But actions speaks louder than words. 

You own my respect! I know dealing with someone like me is difficult. There are so many things that I can't tolerate: lights, noise and scold. As much as I could give it a try, sometimes I failed. I run from the situation and find a dark room to hide. I know it is hard to understand people like me ( well, sometimes I don't either). 

Not everything in life is explainable. But let me just try to explain how people of my kind works:

We feel very deeply. When we are sad, we can't talk. That is why we run away because it is better for us to let you hate us for running away from problems than to let you know that we are too upset. Because the fact is, we don't put all the blame on you. Sometimes, we even hate ourselves for being overly emotional. For that reason, we need time to calm down and tell ourselves that it is all gonna be better. 

We hardly trust people because we know our hearts are fragile. If you have our trust, please please take a good care of that trust because we believe you for that. Once you own our trust, and you break it, please understand that it will never be the same. We may forgive but the scar is deep.

When we fall in love, sometimes, we are too much. I care for you more than you could ever imagine. You will have multiple times to make mistakes, we are not easily mad. We give chances because in our opinion, people make mistakes and people should be given chances to make up. We hate judging others because we know we don't have the whole picture.

When you see us in tears, that does not simply mean we are sad. We might be very mad but we can't get angry. The only way to express our disapointment is through tears. When we are happy and grateful, sometimes, we can be in tears as well. 

I know I know, we are very confusing. That is why we often run away from people because we hate making you confused. Even when you ask, it is hard for us to explain because sometimes, we hate to admit that we are too sensitive. 

Trust me, sometimes we do hate ourselves for being overly emotional. But the fact is, it is someting we live with. We tried to change but we can't easily change our soft hearts. We don't expect everyone to understand us.

But I am writing this so that you know that it is absolutely fine if you give up on us. But if you could spend some time trying to get to know us, we will appreciate you till we die. Not everyone is able to do that. 

If you ask me why am I  so emotional, the only thing I can tell is, I have my own story and I didn't choose this way of life. Having a soft heart is a blessing and a burden at the same time. If you are willing to bear patiently with me, I will definitely love you more!

So, to those who are mad for me being me, I am sorry. There is nothing else I could do. I apologize for making you feel bad, but I won't feel sorry for being who I am. I decide to love myself and stop questioning why I am so fragile.


Oh yes, I am not trying to get your sympathy, but this is just in case one day you are destined to live with me or people like me, feel free do your research( read: read this post again).