This is what happen when you find help from the wrong ones!

Yes i can! I know i can! Because xxx

Living apart from family is not easy! Seriously, not at all. I need strength! I want to hug someone , i want to tell them what i feel. I want to ask if i am doing things right! I want them to tell that i can do it! Dont worry. I want someone to tell me that they do believe in me. I can handle everything. Tell me that i dont have to worry that much! Tell me that they will be with me no matter what. Tell me that if i need something, i have you! Anything.

Arghhhhhhh do i really can do this? Vice president of Muslim Student Association. I need to gather muslims in the campus? I need to organize events for Islam, i need to handle meetings, I need to talk in front of people about Islam, the president is a sophomore as well. It is a she. Can we do this? Handle Msa according to the rules in the Quran but in a very effective way? To tell people that Islam really is the real way of life. How do i do that? you might not understand what i am talking about if you dont know how many people are attending the meeting, if you don't know that those who are having the positions are all girls and sophomore. you don't know how small our organization is!

I was the treasurer. I know i don't really contribute a lot but i always want to. But i was the only girl having the position. It is not that i dont want to take part in their meetings but i dont know my limit! How long can i be with those guys when i am the only girl? They thought i was shy but not that! I want to tell you that i don't know how far i can go! I am a girl. We are opposite gender and i dont know my limit!

We are discussing about islam, about MSA but we look into each other's eyes. When writing a proposal, it is not that i don't want to work together but please understand. I need to take care of my self as a woman! I rather write it by my own. I know by me acting this way, it harder the communication between us to organize MSA. I don't know if i should be professional by just ignore those feelings bothering me when we meet each other. I feel guilty but i don't know if i should be open or not! Where do I get the answer from?

I regret that i dont really learn much from you guys while working together. I don't know who to meet to book a room for meeting, how to order food for events, who to see to ask for table. I don't know which website to go to to get the quotes. I was the treasurer yet dont even know how to check our account. How to use it? I dont even know when we are allowed to use the money and what should we spend for to use the funds.

Yes. No joke. I was the treasurer! I treasure secrets. I am ashamed of myself. Indeed, i did do my work when they assign me to do something. But is it really that i need wait for them to assign me? Come on, be productive. I should know what to do. I mean seriously. Keeping quiet make them reluctant to approach me to give some load! I know but i don't know if i am allowed to go to them to ask for work. I am disappointed with my own self. They always tell me not to be shy but to me, it is not about Shy. It is about the limit in guy girl relationship that I need to make sure I don't get over. Huh.

Now, they are all leaving. I need to take care of all the load for next semester without them. Happy now? Now i need to work with newbies to handle the organization.yes. I will miss them. See, that is what opposite gender relationship did to me. I miss them. It hurts, stupid! I don't love them as boyfriend or something but now i realize that i started to feel comfortable with them because they are guys and i feel secure being with them, although i dont comfortable talking to them. Astaghfirullah. Trust me, that is why Allah ask us to avoid boy girl relationship as much as possible. Because it does hurt! Even just friends! You might not understand what i am saying but trust me, eventually, if you dont behave, you will cry as hard i was!

Know what, i feel helpless that i feel like getting married as soon as possible! I could not bare this any longer. I know and i believe you don't believe with what you just read. Me too. But that is the reality. I don't lie and i don't want to care about what you think but please understand, this is what happen if you don't rely to Allah. I find protection from people. I feel safe when guys do things for me. They don't do a lot but at least i don't have to meet the authority to book the hall. That is the reason. I am happy when they are around. That makes me think of getting a husband as early possible so he can help he doing things. Not to burden him, i will do my part but just again, i want someone to be with me handling those technical things that i don't know how to deal with!

Then i realize, you know what, back to my first paragraph,  i said, i need strength! Actually Allah has the power to give me that and he did. .I want to hug someone, i want to tell them what i feel.I actually have Allah to cry on.

I want to ask if i am doing right! I can refer the quran, hadith and scholars and i can even ask Him directly!

 I want them to tell that i can do it! How many verses are there in the quran telling Allah wont burden some one more than their cabability. Dont worry.

 I want someone to tell me that they do believe in me. Allah gives me life and He sent me here, i dont think if i actually have anything to say about trust He has in me to put me in this tough situation! I can handle everything, If Allah wills.

Tell me that i dont have to worry that much! My, read the quran! Tell me that you will be with me no matter what. Indeed Allah is near! Tell me that if i need something, i have you! Tawakkaltu ala allah!

*shed tears*

Allahu Akbar! Hasbunallah wanikmalwakeel!

Allah the greatest. He is sufficient for me and only onto He, is where i seek help and refuge!!

I am 20 and i am dying

I am 20 and my death is getting near!

Not many people like to talk about death but no one can get away from it. No one can argue the statement "every single soul shall taste death"

Now that i just reached my 20th year of living in this earth, but it is sad to see what had i done in my life. My achievements aren't that impressing. If i were to die just later, i have to admit, i am not satisfied with my life yet and will never till i receive my book of deeds by my right hand. That it is the most terrifying moment. I cant imagine standing on the day of judgment waiting for my result. I really hope to go to Jannah. No option. I must get to paradise! Jannatul Ferdous.

But how? Do i really qualified to get to best place that no one on earth could imagine how beautiful it is? Do i really deserve to be there?

My, analyze yourself! You know exactly the answer! If you are still in your current state, dont even think of imagining yourself in it! Even the smell of it, not for you!

I am currently in the united states. What is the significant for me of being here? Have I brought anything here? If were to die now, do I think that anyone would miss you? Why must them right? I am nobody! I am here or not, does not even give them any different! If no one on earth think that I am important, what makes me think those in the heaven need to give me the best place?

Right.

I need to do something because i obviously can't do everything! Okay now, what do i want to do?

I want to make sure myself have the best connection with Allah. Because He is the only who can guarantee my safety in the hereafter, i need to make sure He wants to choose me to be one of those He please. How?
My obligation toward Him must be great. I mean, i know i can't promise that i can give Him an undivided attention while performing worship or while doing any good deeds. But i can make sure and i must make sure that i, at least, do it out of my responsibility.

I know to some people, sincerity is number one. I know and no doubt, but to me, if that is number one and i need to wait till that so called 'sincerity' to enter my heart, i will definitely missed most of them! Thus, I believe, the very first step it to DO! Later insyaAllah we ll get the khusyoo'. Try to focus just for Allah.
I am sure that if i can make sure my obligatory responsibility is stable, i believe, day to day, i will develop the love. And when i love Him, He will love who ever loves Him. That was His Promise.

Okay, what about my contribution toward others? The best human being is those who benefit others the most, right? As i am here, in America, what can I contribute to this community, being me as a student? I am a muslim, and knowing the fact that America and Muslim are two words that can actually explains the condition here, i know exactly what to do. Most people in this nation can be said, ignorant about the religion of Islam. Being a muslim, it is my job to at least try to educate and explain to them about this full-of-misconception religion.

Here is what i am planning to do:
I want to make sure that no one that ever meet dare to say 'i have known a muslim, she is no different and yes muslims are bad'. That, will never happen! I need to make sure that! How? My character need to be the best among anyone else! How? Follow just how the best human being ever walk on earth, Muhammad (peace be upon him), walked on earth. How to follow him? How to know what he did, while never in my life ever met him once?
Learn from the Quran. Because he, was the man of the Quran. Indeed, i won't be able to be as noble as he was, but i must at least have the attempt to follow his footsteps.
That is forsure, what i must do now! Beautify my character. My attitude should tell them what actually Islam is.

Second, i want to make sure that i am brave enough to tell them what islam actually is. They deserve to know. It is my job to tell them what they see in Media is not at all the real islam. The crisis that is happening in Syria is not because the muslims are practicing islam that teaches them terrorism and violence but because there are a group of people who call themselves Muslim, but not at all obeying the law in Islam, the peaceful religion. People needs the explanation very badly, i am so not going to let the anti-islam media to explain the situation. Public need to know the truth, from a truthful muslim who know exactly what the real story is. Therefore, i need to make sure myself to get the authentic information about what is going on. Ignorance should no longer be in me.

Third, i need to do charity! Charity isn't just about giving money. It is also about giving smile, lending hand, spending time and do any community service. That is what Islam teaches. To something towards the society. Use your ability to contribute in any ways and any means, for the sake of Allah. Just do good because Allah ask us to. Please don't have any hope that people will pay back. I will never satisfy if i do that. Do good, disregard to whom. Whether it us your friend, family, stranger or even those who hates you. You know Allah will reward you even the smallest deeds. Do it, till you die.
No such thing called ' i am tired of doing good', Until the gate of Jannah is opened for you. Don't stop.

BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT I DONT DIE IN THE STATE OF SINNING. KEEP ON DOING GOOD AND KEEP ON ASKING HELP FROM ALLAH TO BE STRONG AND KEEP ON REPENTING TO ALLAH BECAUSE I AM NOT PERFECT

InsyaAllah. Barakallah.

French Veil Law, Why we wear veil?

     In the article ‘French veil law: Muslim woman’s challenge in Strasbourg’ from BBC news, http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-25118160 the writer reported about a young Muslim woman challenging France's full face veil ban at the European Court of Human Rights. French city of Strasbourg banned the public wearing of most face coverings in 2011, setting fines for offenders up to 150 euros.

    The Paris Appeals Court overturned a high court decision by ruling that a private nursery school had been justified in firing an assistant director who refused to remove her Islamic headscarf at work. Fatima Afif, the young Muslim woman, argues that the niqab and the burka body covering accord with her religious faith, culture, and personal convictions, and denies being forced by her family to wear them. However, the head of the International League for Women's Rights said that the full-face veil constitutes a true deletion of the woman as an individual in public. The law is democratic and backed by a strong conviction among French public and states that wearing the full veil makes it difficult to identify a person and makes her indistinguishable from other full veil wearers and erases the woman who wears it, a government lawyer said. A British lawyer representing an unnamed French Muslim said the law violated his client's freedoms of religion, free speech, privacy, rights and made her feel like a prisoner in her own country. Some human rights campaigners have condemned the French law. Amnesty International argued that it violates women's rights to freedom of expression and religion.

     This topic seems the most interesting to me as the practice of Muslim women wearing veils is being rejected by some countries around the world. France banned the full face covering veils, but not the hijab. Turkey once banned all for a while, even headscarves. Tunisia banned headscarves in 1981.Syria banned headscarves in universities. I personally cover myself but not my face. To my point of view, I see the veil as a freedom that can not be banned especially by those who do not have any experience wearing it. Most Muslim women testify that the way they dress is not at all forced by their families especially by their male relatives.

     The majority of Muslim women wear the veil because they choose to wear it. Further, by doing so they obey the religion as it is stated in the Quran: “And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except ...” (24:31). The practice of women covering themselves is not only an Islamic practice. This way of dressing is stated in other religious scripture as well. For example, the Bible: “For if a woman is not veiled, let her also be shorn: but if it is a shame to a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be veiled.” (1 Corinthians 11:6)

    France is a secular nation, meaning that people of any religion should be allowed to practice what they believe as long their actions do not break any existing laws. Freedom of religion in France is guaranteed by the constitutional rights set forth in the 1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. I do not see why the veil should be banned especially as a reason to protect a woman’s right. When the wearer speaks about the reasons she wears the full veil and states it is not at all oppresses to her, why do others need to speak on her behalf?

    Regarding this practice, my opinion is that people need to understand why most Muslim women dress the way they do. I wear it most importantly because of my religious obligation. I believe in God and I do what He asked me to do. The main reason why Muslims women were asked to wear it is to make them easier to be identified as followers of Islam. This should answer the concern about wearing full veil making it difficult to identify a person. Covered Muslims are identifiable, as a Muslim. I do not think it is important to distinguish a person based on their physical appearance. Intellect, skills, and attitude are more than enough to describe a person, especially in a work place.

     Some say the veil is oppression and they need freedom. One of my personal reasons to wear veil and dress modestly is to set my self free from worries about impressing others through my beauty. Covering myself gives me self-respect. How others think of me as beautiful or not is none of my business. I do not need others to tell me how beautiful I am to realize the fact. I free myself from being judged based on my appearance, especially by men. As a human, I want people to judge me based on my intellect, not my physical appearance. When I speak, I want people to focus on my words, not my body. This is the true liberation and true freedom, especially to those who choose to wear.

     The only freedom Muslim women want is to have equal rights as a human. They do not need others to tell them how to dress or force to remove their veil. To ban the veil is actually the oppression. Finally, some argued that Muslim women, like everyone else, need to be recognized for security purpose. According to an article about the same topic from Al-Jazeera America, a Muslim woman, in her written evidence, said that she is willing to remove the face veil whenever required for security reasons. Therefore, to ban the face-veil completely in public, to me, is not a just law.

     The authors of both articles from BBC News and Al-Jazeera America did their job effectively by considering arguments from both parties. I do not sense any bias in their articles but they should have discussed more reasons the French Government ban modest dresses but not nakedness at Cap d'Agde which now the world's capital of nudism.

problem?

Life. How often we sigh, cry and and complain when we don't get wat we want or we get what we dont want.

A lot! simple example, go to my post list, out of how many post were there, count which sounds complaining. Wait. I guess it would be exausting to do that. Let me tell you how many, ALL.

I know. we human have no other things to do besides complaining.. ov=bviously, i am not saying all complains are bad. because it is always goo to complain when you are opressed, or you need to get your right back and , ofcourse, complaining to Allah is not wrong at all.

How ever, let's just take a step back and think. Did Allah not give us blessings? I mean, is it really all we go through in life is just HARDSHIPS? Don't fool yourself. Just say it. He did give us blessings. and yet, He actually give is more blessings than what we call problems. Prove? Even in the quran, there is an explicit verse challeging you to count the blessings of Allah, you won't able to!

If you were to count the blessings of Allah, you will not be able to exhaust them (16:18).

but what did Allah said about hardships?

Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” [Qur’an, 65:7]

Now, stop complaining, go live your life like how Allah want you to. No question. Just shut your mouth up from all those unneccesary complains that will give you nothing but maybe sins. and what do sins can give you? a place in the helll fire?!

Live your life without complaining and exagerating your small problems. you have better things to do. Be grateful, for your life and your death. Feel helpless, find Allah.