everything happen for reason..

asslaamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh....

first of all,, i would like to beg you to ignore my grammar n spelling..

lately i really  stress n depressed as my place here in this house in this family really test my imaan n strength..
again,, about my family,, if you dont feel like concern bout this matter, i really hope you stop your reading now at this moment because u ll get annoyed..  seriously, i am enough with this problem,,  i cant stand to hold n keep this alone.. i really need someone to share with.. besides crying on the sajaddah, i need to burst this out...  i ve tried to not thinking too much of this but i cant.. i come again and again.. i m so tired of this...

but,, alhamdulillah,, allah loves me,, All the praise to Allah!  He never let me floating alone.. He always give me the answer to my questions..  regarding my family problem,,  again, i cant stand to face my mum,,, she was successfully make me a person with lack of confidence.. seriously,, i made it.. congratulation to her..  ya i may sound sacarstic.. but tis is the only sentence that i manage to came out with.. basically, my problem is about my mum who always get mad to us,, and the most favorite target to her is me.. everything i do, never satisfy her.. i have no idea about the reason,,  throwing things, slamming door n use harsh word are some of her acts that i can no longer stand..

about the answer to my question marks in my mind, i suddenly watch tis malay film..if i m not mistake,, its title is KASHAF IMANI.. perhaps u ve watch it too.. i u havent,, i suggest u to watch it.. the messages are clear...  okay let me briefly explain about the synopsis..
basically its about kashaf who the son of a single mother who have no dad.. but he do has sister by the same mum but his younger sister do have dad.. simply said,, he is a illegal child.. three of the stay in a flat n one of their neighbour is amani.. amani lives with her grandma.. amani n her grandma are so called practicing muslims.. i mean,, they do pray n do good deeds but unfortunately imany dont wear hijjab.. n,, amani has sixth sense since she woke up from comma when both of he parents died..  ok,, back to kashaf, kashaf was lack of love by his mum.. him mum always treat him badly,, not as kind to his sister.. so,, kashaf felt dissapointed.. also, his sister was actually a bad lady.. their mum dont trust his even he said the truth..  until one day, her mum ask him ko get out from their house.. so, he do so.. he went out.. then, he called his best friend to talk n share tis sadness..  during the talk, one of a gangster went nea to kashaf n tried to kill him.. the knife was hit to kashaf's stomach..bleeding.. kashaf felt down.. over night, he was there.. do not woke up.. until the next morning, he opened his eyes n tried to stand,, he dont feel the pain anymore.. he rush to his house,, he saw imani.. imanni saw him with blood on his shirt.. imani asked why,, but he said he need to get home,,, he went home.. enter his house saw his mothe,, the arrange his words asking forgiveness from his mum.. tears rolled down when he realize that her mother dont bother him at all.. he cried n appologize again and again.. suddenly, he heard his mum talk alone.. saying that she missed him.. he was puzzled.. he was there but his mum was like cant see him,,, suddenly, his best friend came to their house telling his mum that they saw, kashaf's dead body.. now kashaf realized that he was not a human that can be seen.. but he is only the soul.. thats y his mum cant see him.. he dont know what to do.. he cried.. i really need to say sorry to his mum before he get back to allah,, so, he asked a help from imani since only imani can see him..after discussing a few things, imani decided to help kashaf..  as his mum was stressed out , his sister created a new problem, she follow some one that she dont realize that is a drug seller. it get worse when kashaf noticed his sister follow his murder.. he cant let it be.. kashaf again tried to ask for help from imani to go n  see his sister accompanied by his best friend.. they went to meet his sister, unfortunately, his sister ignore their reminder...

he cant do anything.. so, he focus to seek forgiveness from his mother... at hospital,, the nurse gave kashaf's stuffs back to his mother... now the mother realize that kashaf dont lie at all,, when he was asked to pay the car payment, he did,, but his mother dont believe him at all before and that makes his thrown out by his mother.. now his mother had made a huge mistake.. and that makes he really understand the meaning of regret! kashaf's soul was there in the hospital.. he saw his mum crying like hell.. he who really loves his mum so much, doesnt want his mum to regret over her life, thus, ask imani tell his mum about this,, about however bad his mum was, he still take her as his mum.. he loves her..  imani done.. imani told everything.. kashaf finally curved a smile on his lips.. so do her mother even her tears doesnt stop rolling down.. she was released.. she started to appriciate her son.. even it was quite late.. but atleast she does.. kashaf's soul went to imani to thanks her for everything,, but imani reminded kashaf that everything were nothing to do with her..  everything was planned by Allah.. the almighty.. so,, thank Him..  during their conversation ,, kashaf's soul started to disappear slowly.. they have no idea about whats happening.. kashaf think, its his time.. so, he accept.. then, kashaf's body on the haspital bed started to breath terribly..nurse was called n best friend of kashaf tried to contact his sister so she has time to see hi for the last time.. however, her sister does want to... but ask her mum to pray for her early death so that they may meet in the grave,, so stupid of her playing with allah's faith, accident occured and she died. while his brother suddenly openned his eyes. started to breath normaly after stop breathing for a while before no word came out from everyone besudes ALHAMDULILLAH..

i wrote this long story for reason.. i dont know, why,, but i hope this thing may happen to me as well.. i know its wrong to pray for bad thing but i can see the good impact to everyone.. kashaf started to apreciate his life and wanted to stop doing illegal things... he was give by Allah a second chance to repent.. while his mother,, started to notice her mistake before... dont punish people as her will.. his best friend,,  also,, learned  alot from the situation,, became a better person n believe, death may come whenever in which way that we dont know.. imani,, started to wear hijjab... she know, the ability to see soul is nikmat from Allah,, so,, why much her betray Allah??  

#everything happen for reason.. so, dont think why we need to face it,, think about why Allah test us that way? it must be something that we need to fix.. do it before its too late.. dont let the word regret blacken our life or our soul..

what do i really want in my short life??

this answer is based on my own heart.. not based on what islam ask us to achieve. so,, humbly said, please dont take this as a good example.. n, for those who want to voice out your own opinion, please do so.. this is what i want,, but why must i post it here.. ? ya , i know,, doing something , please do it for Allah and for good reason.. and thats why i post it here.. firstly, i really want to get all this,, n i need to make it visible.. keeping it just in mind might igroned as i m not really a determined person.. secondly,, if i just pencilled it on a piece of paper, i might be lost it.. i m not the type of person who really care about small things.. yes i want to but its not me to take care a paper properly.. this is my weakness.. plus, if possible, i dont want my family members to read it.,. i know,, this is quite rude,, but this is from deep of my heart.. i cant let them know.. actually i dont want you to read this as well.. but perhaps but posting this i ll find some one who may give some advice or something.. i know my grammar is terrible.. but i need to go on with this.. okay ,, bismillahirrahman arrahim,, let me begin.. the first thing i want is to end my life with LAILLAHAILALLAH its nothing if our life begin with a good start but end with worse end.. ya allah,, i ve wasted my life before.. please lead me back to you.. next,, as everyone's hope, i want to live in a happy life.. happy is too wide n subjective, for me ,, atleast i have someone to lend me her or his ears. to always support me in anything i work on, or give me hope when i can only see the darkness of the night.. hold my hand when i have no one in facing hardness.. lift me up when i m doing bad things or i m lost.. hug me when i feel like dying... try to make me smile when i cant.. always bring me to Allah.. i dont care whether the person is a friend or one of my family members or a husband.. what i want is the person is always there for me.. also,, i really want to benefit others.. i dont want to die before giving or spending something to the community.. atleast i want to be a teacher,, spreading the truth to the people.. sharing the knowledge from Allah,, giving motivation to those people to build the strong of islam .. f possible,, i want to lead atleast one person to revert to islam.. i must.. but only with Allah's will.. insyaAllah.. or i want to help the palestinian to fight for masjidil aqso.. i really owe them,, most of them shahid.. they died to makesure Al aqso wont drop to zionis.. seriously,, we as muslim,, owe them,, may Allah grant them to Jannah al firdausi.. amiin.. i must do something to help them.. perhaps, building any factory to give them eat like bread factory or what should ever.. i ll try.. but i hope,, before i manage to do so, no more israel in the land of palestine in the land of al aqso, the land of anbiyaa'.. i believe, Allah always with the muhajidin and the glory is for Islam!

Bagaimana untuk merubah diri jadi baik dalam perhubungan sesama manusia

salam cik shueq, cik shueq saya mmg nak berubah. dah tanam dlm diri utk jadi lebih baik. tapi bile kita try to be nice to people, dorg harapkan yg lebih, terutama org terdekat. kkdg nak closekan relationship tu jadi lebih renggang. macam getah. makin kita nak baik, nak rapat jd makin jauh. kkdg makin nak jd baik, makin jahat kita jadi please bro kkdg rase nak give up! rase cam dah x de sape…” Untuk kita nak berubah jadi lebih baik dalam perhubungan sesama manusia, kita perlu ada contoh ikutan. Sebagai orang Melayu beragama Islam, contoh ikutan paling baik adalah Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. Kaji sikap Baginda, ikuti lalu praktikkan menjadi sikap sendiri. Saya cadangkan, baca buku motivasi bertajuk “Menjadi Seperti Muhammad” terbitan PTS, ditulis oleh Aa Gym. Kita sudah mencuba untuk jadi baik pada setiap orang di sekeliling kita, tapi sikap baik kita tu bertahan sekejap saja kerana kita jadikannya sekejap, bukan bertahun-tahun lamanya. Sikap yang baru ambik masa untuk diterima orang sekeliling, mungkin berminggu, mungkin berbulan-bulan. Ia juga mengambil masa untuk diterima oleh diri kita sendiri. Untuk menjadi baik dalam masa yang lama, jangan pernah cuba berhenti berbuat baik, berkata yang baik-baik, berfikir yang baik-baik, bersangka yang baik-baik. Terus meneruslah baik. Nampakkan yang Anda tekad mahu berubah jadi semakin baik lalu terus menerus bertambah baik. Masalahnya..kiita dah berbuat baik, tapi fikiran kita dan hati kita penuh dengan sangkaan-sangkaan buruk berisi rasa sangsi. Kesannya, kebikan kita tu dibalas dengam keburukan-keburukan yang kita tak sangka. Apa yang kita buat mesti mau selari dengan apa yang kita fikir dan apa yang kita rasa. Biar kita buat baik lalu perbuatan kita tu membuat kita rasa bahagia, membuat kita merasa gembira. Andai kata kita berbuat baik kemudian kita merasa tertekan setiap kali melakukan kebaikan, itu petanda besar kita langsung tak dapat mengubah diri kita menjadi lebih baik. Hati kita masih kotor. Kita perlu lebih banyak mencuci hati supaya jadi lebih bersih. Orang sekeliling amik sedikit masa untuk menerima perubahan Anda kerana mereka tertanya-tanya apa sebabnya dan untuk apa tujuannya. Perubahan yang dibuat tu biarlah berterusan, elak untuk jadi sekejap-sekejap saja. Barulah orang sekeliling boleh terima kemduian barulah diorang boleh jadi rapat ngan Anda. Orang baik susah dicari. Apabila Anda berkelakuan baik, bersikap baik dan memilih untuk bercakap yang baik-baik sahaja, Anda ibarat sebutir emas di dalam lautan lumpur. Ramai orang akan dekat ngan Anda, baik sebaik-baiknya pada Anda.

why some people have two split persobnality??

perhaps i dont have the exact answer... but i do have my own opinion..surely based on my own life experience..

where to start? okay,, bismillahirahmanirrahim.

people said, character cant be developed in quiet and ease..

in hard n difficult situation only the strength improved, the soul enlighten and the inspiration built.

however, great people will always smile even in stressful situation..huh,, dear me,, stop fooling around..

back to my story.. ouh ya,, my story haven' t started yet..

if you ask my close friends, they might decribe me as a cheerful, wise, good motivator, disciplined, and talkative girl..ya.. garrulous...  

but when be asked to my family, they might describe me as an emotional, sensitive, childish n weak girl..

both desciption were contradict. but to me both were right..

if ask straight or direct to myself, i ll describe my self as wise,good motivator,disciplined,and sensitive.. i ll reject the words of cheerful,talkative, emotional, and weak.. as am not!

how come i have 2 split personality??
everyone knows, we are where we are.. if i m in a good surrounding, i ll act good and otherwise.. 

okay let me reveal who am i n why do i act like that at HOME.
as i ve told before, i m a  emotional, sensitive, childish n weak girl..

at home, i am surrounded in a depressing family,, i usd to be condemn when i make mistakes. if i have any problem, no one would like to lend their ears to me.. seriously.. i swear,, i dont lie at all.. my brother  with his own hobby.. my mum in her own world , my dad with his works n problems n my little sister with her stories,..

when i be at home,, i m the moderator in the house.. some times, mum scold my brother as he is quite rude. some times, mum n dad fight againts each other, some time my sister  had a fight with my brother.. n always, i m not in a good condition with all of them!. i m sorry to say this.. but this is the fact! what to do??  everytrhing i do,, i ll always get ther critics, condemn, scold n what should ever..i dont mind if i do really wrong but i cant accept when they keep scolding me even i do nothing wrong.. just imagine if i want to ask about something, ther use their high tone n ask me to use my brain.! n if try to use mu brain n not asking anything b4 doing something,, again they ll ask me, why dont i ask before doing it? now the things went wrong..
i m confused! i dont know what can i satisfy them. seriously! when the things went wrong, they ll use bad words to reflect their anger to me.. doest this called condemning? if u r in my shoe, what will u feel?? feel like crying right? so, i CRIED! n this makes them think i m emotional, sensitive and childish besides weak bcoz i m not strong enough to face the future.. just know to cry.. is that fair? absolutely no! n,, back to the part the dont like me to ask somuch,, this make me quiet at home.. ya.. surely i ll moody when facing the situation!.  i m tired to living like this but this is my family.. i always try to get use of these.. but i m not that strong n great to resist all my feelings!

so,, why m i different with my friends?
surely because i do have chance to talk.. no one have the right to codemn me.. even they do,, i ll move away from them n find a new friend.. its not that hard.. i m talkative.. why?? when i m alone,, i ll remember my life at home.. i ll get sad n tears will roll down through my cheeks.besides that,, as i have no chance to talk at home, i must fullfil my nessacity as human at the time i m away from home.. i cant keep sealing my lips forever.. i need to talk some thing.. thats why i m being talkative infront of them.. as i cant laugh at home,, i burst my laughter with my friends! i must! imust! if not,, i guess i m no longer a rational human on this world.. ya,, i m a good listener and a good motivator.. why? because i have my experiences handing the problems.. we knoe, experience is the best teacher!. thats y i always know what to advise my priend when they need me.. everything is from Allah.. its Allah who grant me the ideas to make them feel better.. perhaps because Allah know i need to understand what is the meaning of hardship n then i can teach them to be strong "like me" ..thats y i ve experienced it alone at home.. through this i looked wise.. they see me as a wise person in handling problems, giving advices, and careful in planning something..  but deep in me,, no one knows except Allah..infront of them, i might be smiling,, but in the inner side of mine, i am crying what..
its so hard to go through this.. but Alhamdulillah,, Allah let this easier..  i m not living all time home.. i spent most of my time far away from home.. to feel the sweetness of life.. my hous is in klang,, i started to mo0ve out from my house to langkawi, then,, i went to nilai.. n isyaAllah i ll fly to united states,, insyaAllah.. i m bnot saying that i hate living with my family but the condition there makes me a weak person.. i m weak to stand on my own leg.. i keep crying at home.. 

thats y i said,, its better to be far away from home so that i ll appreciate my lifen my family more.. if not,, i most probably hating my self n fed up with my family..

i thinks,,, thats enough for revealing my story.. no one knows bout this.. i ve hold this tightly before.. i cant stand anymore.. i need to share with someone,, even i dont know who ll read this post, atleast this thing were out from me.. alhamdulillah.. . i know,, its better to ask help from Allah than to conmplain on this blog.. no i m not repelling my self away from Allah../ its just an alternative to burst out my feeling as i have no one to share with.. thanks for reading my life story.. together we improve ourselves..:)

how nice Allah is.

previously, i used to said that i do not feel like studying overseas.
i said to everyone that i wanted to be a teacher.. mathematics teacher.
however, when the spc form cameout, i applied as i do not confident with my spm..
i just want to apply to make sure i do still have place to further my studies even my result is bad...
however, in my process to apply this program, i was thinking about as my trial result was not that bad, why not i try to apply something higher. plus, my parents encourage me to apply for overseas program as the chance wont knock the door twice.. ya,, i tried to apply.. but actually i dint think that i will be accepted. until the calling for interview, i passed SUDDENLY .  actually,, alhamdulillah.. :)
i step and open my life as a new person doing something i never think to do so..
struggling to achieve something that not that clear..
i tried
until one day,, i went to a program named puncak..
PRE UNIVERSITY AMERICA/CANADA KAMI

alhamdulillah,, alhamdulillah, alhaamdulillah,,

there,, i really open my eyes.. i really get sprite with icy cold water!
i dont know why, but i started to understand the hikmah why am i here.
now i really learn to appreciate what have i hold.
i am the chosen one.. Allah gave me this opportunity to build my iman
prepare and improve myself as a better muslimah. to feel deeply the meaning of islam..
if someone ask me ,, WHAT IS ISLAM?
i am so sorry ya allah,, i cant explain.
look ,, previously i just know how to said that i am a muslim.
i said i know how to be a good muslim..
but the basic question comes in,, frankly said, i dont know how to explain.
astaghfirullah..
yes,, perhaps deep inside my heart and soul, i know what islam is..
but if i really know,, why cant i explain the meaning of islam to others??
you know why i cant explain,
because i dont really feel and taste the sweetness of islam..
i have not,
thats why..
knowing is not enough, we must practice
practice is not good enough, we must sincere!

look,,  how bad am i??
i really realize that i need to change
becoming aa better muslimah.
insyaAllah.; i am on my way..

okay,, back to PUNCAK, i really learn much from there.
there, i really water my heart, i clean it.. for a long time i have not feed my soul
yes i tried to wake up for qiamulail everyday in my room..
but the situation there is much more better..
the schedule an routine was awesome!
qiamulail, subuh, almathirah,tazkirah about sahabah
good programs and beneficial talks
zohor, asar and mathurah,,, everything jamaah..
seriously i enjoyed those things.doing everything together
maghrib, tazkirah, isyak..
building string ukhwah fillah..
knowing each other, having fun together, and sharing ilmu./.
how sweet and flowery the moments are??

when i heard the talks, i learn than, in this entire world, there is nothing to do with KEBETULAN
everything was planned  by allah!
yes,, everything.. so , no such thing as sudden
everything happen for reason..
i was chosen to go n sstudy there in america is for me to learn more about islam
as the sisters said,, here, in malaysia,, we live in a comfort zone.
thats why we dont appreciate islam.
most of the people take for granted about the solah, aurah,sedekah and silaturahhim
but when we are the in america, we may face a condition where its hard to pray until when we habe time to pray, that is the only time n the prayer cant be delayed
whan we open our aurah, the non muslims may ask us why dont we whre hijab while we said we r muslims.
when we find someone who ask us about islam, how can we explain to them if even we our self dont really sure what islam is as we dont practice..

islam is the only way of life..
in islam, we live for reason,, to do ibadah and to be a khalifah..
we know where are we from, and to who will we return.
we know..so,, if we know that Allah does not lend us the nyawa n roh just for fun,
why do we use this gift to make fun??
we know there will come the day of judge ment
so,, why do we use the hands, legs, time, eyes, money to the wrong place??
remember, every single deed counted
we know al quran is our guide,. but why must we ignore the words?? ignore the instructions?
thats why i said,, knowing is not good enough, we must believe! we must do!

back to the story about me and america..
after hearing the talk from dr hafidzi,
i started to realize,, i am not given any chance  or something special, if not because it is a task..
studying overseas is not just about learning n mastering our major and back to malaysia with a scroll of degree.. no.. that is not all.. if thats all,, its better foar me to just study locally..
studying overseas is about gaining experiences, learning something that we cant studying our own country,
building imaan that rarely done at malaysia, appriciate gifts n lern more about islam..

why? definately because the new things and skills need to be used to help the other islam who sufferd now.. more to palestine, syria, libya, afghanistan.burma n others...
to drag the attention of non muslims to revert to islam..
to show good examples to others,
to prove that islam is a strong and the only religion..

*simply said,, i am very lucky to be the chosen want.. alhamdulillah..
i need to spread dakwah..  i need to understand islam well.. i need to seek for his blessings..
insyaAllah.. rabbi asir wala tu assir,, perhaps,, only there is our turning point..
turn to allah before we return to ALLAh..
also,, some people said,, its is more lucky to go to the west countries than the east county,,
why?? in country that less muslims is where we can more appreciate islam..
we can find more about islam.. about Allah.. insyaAllah.. i will proud to be a practicing muslimah taht brings the good name of islam.. so taht no more people dare to say islam is terrorist or islam really trap their people from frreedom, as no people at that side.. everyone habe reverted in to isla,.. insya Allah..

zinnirah al mumtahanah

Kesabaran seseorang muslim dalam mempertahankan aqidah Islam ketika menghadapi suasana penindasan yang hebat merupakan contoh kesabaran yang agung. Pegangan aqidah yang bertunjangkan tauhid kepada Allah menjadi harta yang tiada ternila bagi setiap muslim. Ia adalah cahaya yang menyinari hidup insan dan penyelamat dalam mengharungi sengsara kacau-bilau pada hari pembalasan. Perkembangan dakwah Rasulullah S.A.W pada peringkat awal banyak dibantu oleh kesabaran kaum Muslimin dan muslimat dalam mempertahankan pegangan aqidah mereka. Sikap inilah yang membuahkan hasil yang amat berharga dalam sejarah perkembangan Islam hinggalah ke hari ini. Islam masih kekal dan terus mekar dalam jiwa setiap umat Islam. Kisah seorang muslimat sejati bernama Zinnirah adalah antara contoh terunggul pengorbanan seorang muslimah demi mempertahankan aqidah yang telah meresap ke dalam lubuk hatinya. Beliau dipilih oleh Allah untuk menerima ujian yang cukup getir. beliau menerima hidayah Allah pada peringkat awal dakwah Rasulullah S.A.W yaitu semasa baginda S.A.W berdakwah secara sembunyi-sembunyi di kalangan rakan karib baginda. Dalam sejarah Islam, golongan yang pertama memeluk Islam inilah yang banyak menerima ujian daripada Allah Zinnirah adalah seorang wanita berketurunan bangsa Rom. beliau telah ditawan dan dijual di sebuah pasar di Mekah. Akihirnya beliau telah dibeli oleh Umar Al-Khattab untuk dijadikan hamba. Dari segi fizikalnya, Zinnirah kelihatan seorang yang lemah, tetapi dari segi spiritualnya beliau mempunyai jiwa yang cukup kental dan tabah. Rasulullah S.A.W memulakan dakwahnya secara sembunyi-sembunyi di kalangan orang-orang tertentu termasuk golongan bawahan. Antara yang menerima cahya keimanan ini ialah Zinnirah. beliau telah menerima dengan sepenuh hati. Pada peringkat awal keislamannya, Zinnirah melakukan perintah islam secara sembunyi-sembunyi, takut diketahui tuannya, Umar Al-Khattab. Beliau bersolat, berzikir, membaca Al-Quran, berdoa kepada Allah dengan penuh syahdu dan keinsafan. Semuanya dilakukan secara berhati-hati. Penderitaan atas Zinnirah ini bermula setelah tuannya Umar Al-Khattab mengetahui keislamannya. Umar telah dapat merasakan perubahan yang terjadi dalam diri hambanya itu. Setelah diselidiki, nyatalah bahwa hambanya meniggalkan agama nenek moyang dan menerima ajaran tauhid yang dibawa Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. Umar Al-Khattab cukup terkenal dengan sikap memusuhi Rasulullah dan agama Islam sebelum keislamannya. Beliau selalu mencerca Muhammad S.A.w. Beliau mengancam sahabat-sahabat yang telah memeluk Islam dengan sikap berani dan tegasnya itu. Beliau sanggup menanam anaknya perempuannya hidup-hidup karena malu dipandang masyarakat. Dengan sifat keberanian inilah yang telah mendorong Rasulullah S.A.W berdoa agar salah seorang daripada dua Umar di Mekah supaya memeluk Islam. Zinnirah menjadi mangsa awal di atas sikap kebencian Umar Al-Khattab terhadap Islam dan kaum Muslimin. Maka, teruslah Umar menyiksa Zinnirah dengan harapan Zinnirah akan kembali kepada agama asalnya dan meninggalkan Islam. Berbagai siksaan dikenakan terhadap Zinnirah. Pukulan, gertakan, tendangan , dijemur di tengah-tengah panas terik adalah hal biasa dalam kehidupan Zinnirah. Semuanya dihadapi dengan tenang dan sabar, di samping hati dan jiwanya bergantung penuh kepada pertolongan Allah S.W.T. Puncak penyiksaan terhadap Zinnirah ialah ketika matanya ditusk dengan besi panas. Beliau kehilangan kedua-dua matanya dan terpaksa mengharungi hidup dengan penuh kegelapan. Matanya buta, tetapi hati dan jiwanya penuh dengan cahaya keimanan. Iman menjadi penyuluh hidupnya dalam kesengsaraan azab dari tuannya. "Ini untukmu Ya Allah. Aku mengharungi kesengsaraan ini untuk mendapat kesenangan di akhirat kelak. Perjuangan ini memang berat, selalu menderita dan sengsara karena aku sadar untuk mendapat syurga. aku terpaksa mengarubgi ujian berat, sedangkan neraka itu dipagari oleh berbagai kesenangan." Inilah rintihan hati Zinnirah kepada Allah S.W.T ketika bermunajat kepada Allah di setiap malam sebagai penawar jiwa di atas segala kesusahan yang dia hadapi. Jiwanya semakin kukuh. Imannya semakin teguh. Pengorbanan Zinnirah mendapat cercaan kaum musyrikin Mekah. Berbagai cacian dilemparkan kepadanya. Mereka mengatakan Zinnirah buta karena dilaknat oleh tuhan Latta dan Uzza. Mereka mengatakan itu karena Zinnirah mempertahankan diri dengan mengatakan dirinya buta bukan karena tuhan mereka, sebaliknya ini adalah perbuatan Umar dan Allah menetapkan ini terjadi. Walaupun diuji dengan segala bentuk, keyakinannya kepada Allah tidak berubah. Allah memberi karunia kepadanya. Matanya yang buta itu dapat melihat kembali dengan karunia Allah S.W.T. Dia dapat menikmati semula keindahan ciptaan Allah S.W.T. hatinya dengan penuh kesyukuran kepada Allah dan imannya semakin tinggi. Dengan taufiq hidayah Allah, Umar akhirnya memeluk Islam jua.