what do i really want in my short life??

this answer is based on my own heart.. not based on what islam ask us to achieve. so,, humbly said, please dont take this as a good example.. n, for those who want to voice out your own opinion, please do so.. this is what i want,, but why must i post it here.. ? ya , i know,, doing something , please do it for Allah and for good reason.. and thats why i post it here.. firstly, i really want to get all this,, n i need to make it visible.. keeping it just in mind might igroned as i m not really a determined person.. secondly,, if i just pencilled it on a piece of paper, i might be lost it.. i m not the type of person who really care about small things.. yes i want to but its not me to take care a paper properly.. this is my weakness.. plus, if possible, i dont want my family members to read it.,. i know,, this is quite rude,, but this is from deep of my heart.. i cant let them know.. actually i dont want you to read this as well.. but perhaps but posting this i ll find some one who may give some advice or something.. i know my grammar is terrible.. but i need to go on with this.. okay ,, bismillahirrahman arrahim,, let me begin.. the first thing i want is to end my life with LAILLAHAILALLAH its nothing if our life begin with a good start but end with worse end.. ya allah,, i ve wasted my life before.. please lead me back to you.. next,, as everyone's hope, i want to live in a happy life.. happy is too wide n subjective, for me ,, atleast i have someone to lend me her or his ears. to always support me in anything i work on, or give me hope when i can only see the darkness of the night.. hold my hand when i have no one in facing hardness.. lift me up when i m doing bad things or i m lost.. hug me when i feel like dying... try to make me smile when i cant.. always bring me to Allah.. i dont care whether the person is a friend or one of my family members or a husband.. what i want is the person is always there for me.. also,, i really want to benefit others.. i dont want to die before giving or spending something to the community.. atleast i want to be a teacher,, spreading the truth to the people.. sharing the knowledge from Allah,, giving motivation to those people to build the strong of islam .. f possible,, i want to lead atleast one person to revert to islam.. i must.. but only with Allah's will.. insyaAllah.. or i want to help the palestinian to fight for masjidil aqso.. i really owe them,, most of them shahid.. they died to makesure Al aqso wont drop to zionis.. seriously,, we as muslim,, owe them,, may Allah grant them to Jannah al firdausi.. amiin.. i must do something to help them.. perhaps, building any factory to give them eat like bread factory or what should ever.. i ll try.. but i hope,, before i manage to do so, no more israel in the land of palestine in the land of al aqso, the land of anbiyaa'.. i believe, Allah always with the muhajidin and the glory is for Islam!