how nice Allah is.

previously, i used to said that i do not feel like studying overseas.
i said to everyone that i wanted to be a teacher.. mathematics teacher.
however, when the spc form cameout, i applied as i do not confident with my spm..
i just want to apply to make sure i do still have place to further my studies even my result is bad...
however, in my process to apply this program, i was thinking about as my trial result was not that bad, why not i try to apply something higher. plus, my parents encourage me to apply for overseas program as the chance wont knock the door twice.. ya,, i tried to apply.. but actually i dint think that i will be accepted. until the calling for interview, i passed SUDDENLY .  actually,, alhamdulillah.. :)
i step and open my life as a new person doing something i never think to do so..
struggling to achieve something that not that clear..
i tried
until one day,, i went to a program named puncak..
PRE UNIVERSITY AMERICA/CANADA KAMI

alhamdulillah,, alhamdulillah, alhaamdulillah,,

there,, i really open my eyes.. i really get sprite with icy cold water!
i dont know why, but i started to understand the hikmah why am i here.
now i really learn to appreciate what have i hold.
i am the chosen one.. Allah gave me this opportunity to build my iman
prepare and improve myself as a better muslimah. to feel deeply the meaning of islam..
if someone ask me ,, WHAT IS ISLAM?
i am so sorry ya allah,, i cant explain.
look ,, previously i just know how to said that i am a muslim.
i said i know how to be a good muslim..
but the basic question comes in,, frankly said, i dont know how to explain.
astaghfirullah..
yes,, perhaps deep inside my heart and soul, i know what islam is..
but if i really know,, why cant i explain the meaning of islam to others??
you know why i cant explain,
because i dont really feel and taste the sweetness of islam..
i have not,
thats why..
knowing is not enough, we must practice
practice is not good enough, we must sincere!

look,,  how bad am i??
i really realize that i need to change
becoming aa better muslimah.
insyaAllah.; i am on my way..

okay,, back to PUNCAK, i really learn much from there.
there, i really water my heart, i clean it.. for a long time i have not feed my soul
yes i tried to wake up for qiamulail everyday in my room..
but the situation there is much more better..
the schedule an routine was awesome!
qiamulail, subuh, almathirah,tazkirah about sahabah
good programs and beneficial talks
zohor, asar and mathurah,,, everything jamaah..
seriously i enjoyed those things.doing everything together
maghrib, tazkirah, isyak..
building string ukhwah fillah..
knowing each other, having fun together, and sharing ilmu./.
how sweet and flowery the moments are??

when i heard the talks, i learn than, in this entire world, there is nothing to do with KEBETULAN
everything was planned  by allah!
yes,, everything.. so , no such thing as sudden
everything happen for reason..
i was chosen to go n sstudy there in america is for me to learn more about islam
as the sisters said,, here, in malaysia,, we live in a comfort zone.
thats why we dont appreciate islam.
most of the people take for granted about the solah, aurah,sedekah and silaturahhim
but when we are the in america, we may face a condition where its hard to pray until when we habe time to pray, that is the only time n the prayer cant be delayed
whan we open our aurah, the non muslims may ask us why dont we whre hijab while we said we r muslims.
when we find someone who ask us about islam, how can we explain to them if even we our self dont really sure what islam is as we dont practice..

islam is the only way of life..
in islam, we live for reason,, to do ibadah and to be a khalifah..
we know where are we from, and to who will we return.
we know..so,, if we know that Allah does not lend us the nyawa n roh just for fun,
why do we use this gift to make fun??
we know there will come the day of judge ment
so,, why do we use the hands, legs, time, eyes, money to the wrong place??
remember, every single deed counted
we know al quran is our guide,. but why must we ignore the words?? ignore the instructions?
thats why i said,, knowing is not good enough, we must believe! we must do!

back to the story about me and america..
after hearing the talk from dr hafidzi,
i started to realize,, i am not given any chance  or something special, if not because it is a task..
studying overseas is not just about learning n mastering our major and back to malaysia with a scroll of degree.. no.. that is not all.. if thats all,, its better foar me to just study locally..
studying overseas is about gaining experiences, learning something that we cant studying our own country,
building imaan that rarely done at malaysia, appriciate gifts n lern more about islam..

why? definately because the new things and skills need to be used to help the other islam who sufferd now.. more to palestine, syria, libya, afghanistan.burma n others...
to drag the attention of non muslims to revert to islam..
to show good examples to others,
to prove that islam is a strong and the only religion..

*simply said,, i am very lucky to be the chosen want.. alhamdulillah..
i need to spread dakwah..  i need to understand islam well.. i need to seek for his blessings..
insyaAllah.. rabbi asir wala tu assir,, perhaps,, only there is our turning point..
turn to allah before we return to ALLAh..
also,, some people said,, its is more lucky to go to the west countries than the east county,,
why?? in country that less muslims is where we can more appreciate islam..
we can find more about islam.. about Allah.. insyaAllah.. i will proud to be a practicing muslimah taht brings the good name of islam.. so taht no more people dare to say islam is terrorist or islam really trap their people from frreedom, as no people at that side.. everyone habe reverted in to isla,.. insya Allah..