Inspiration? Alhamdulillah

Let's again talk about this semester. Fall 2014.

Let's count our blessings.

First of all, I wanted to share about my friend. I have known him for one years and a half now. His name is Erik. I first know him because I joined MSA ( Muslim Student Association) but ironically, he was not a Muslim. He to me is nothing special by his look. But I actually admire him because of his character. The way he talk and the way he conduct himself just unusual to see now. I love the way he talk. He talks not too slow and not too fast that make it easy to understand him but not easily getting bored. 

I am writing about him not because I like him or what. Just to share, since the early days I know him, I always wish him to accept Islam. He was looking into it but at the time, he is not ready. His personality somewhat make me always wonder, how wonderful is that If he accepted islam with his nice way of conduct. I believe he will be a good Muslim is he accept islam. I am saying this simply because, he practices what Islam teaches that most Muslims are actually struggling to have good manner. I remember went to a trip to Philadelphia with MSA members. Of all, he is the only that I would suggest to be the best personality. At the time, unfortunately, he was not a Muslim. That was the peak where I really ask Allah to guide him. I even hope that he will not judge Islam by the act of Muslims. How embarrassing. 

Until one day, in a meeting, he suddenly approach us, and tell that he is now a Muslim. Me being myself, could not avoid being emotional. I almost cried. I am happy for him because for one fact, what ever happens after this, insyaAllah he is in the straight path. Then I reflected back to myself. I am happy for him, but at the same time, I am feeling so little about my self. As I told you, to me he has a good characters. Now, he is a new Muslim. Most of us know that when someone enter Islam, he or she will considered as new born baby. Sinless and pure. To be compared with my self, I know at this very moment, I obviously worse than him. Alhamdulillah I am so happy for him. How Allah bless him made me wanna cry. 

One more important thing is that he will be graduating another few more weeks. Why I was so worried and hope he quickly accept Islam was because after this perhaps he will spend less of no time learning about Islam if he did not accept it now. But all praise is to Allah. He is blessed.  He is now learning and actually I can see the change he made within himself. He is a Mexican. InsyaAllah he will get married with a Korean. With he becoming a Muslim, I really hope he will steadfast with this way of life and guide his future wife into this religion as well,  amen. 

Last week, i interviewed him for my project for women and religion class. Basically about the way women dress. I suppose he will be a good respondent for our survey. He was a catholic and now he is a Muslim. I was curious about the way the think of when he see the way woman dress. One think I could conclude from his answers is, he don't mind women dressing provocatively because that is their choice. However, he will not let his wife of his daughter to dress that way simple because he know that particular way of dressing will invite unpleasant negative view of men towards the women. Less respect for her. 

I thought I would share it here, just to remind everyone about that. 

That.s about that. The point I am making is that, as you can see, I am an observant girl. I admire most people without they realizing it. I am ashamed of myself when I see people. I want to be like them. I need to improve my self. I need to be a better person. From him, I learn that in need to improve my character. May Allah bless you.

The undeserved love

More about this semester, the undeserved love.

You could not imagine the feeling being loved by people while you are actually know that you do not deserve that much love. 

Helping as a volunteer to help out kids to learn Arabic at the masjid sounds so good. Most people will look high on you when you say you are doing such noble work. Unfortunately, you know yourself is you are sincere in doing that. Most importantly, God knows.

Imagine you are carrying a briefcase and you put some stuffs in it but not money, you carry around the back as if it really contains money. You wear a suit complete with a tie. People will look at you and wish they could be at your place. People praise you as if you are a very hardworking person who deserve those 'money' in your briefcase. The respect and power that you have now, people will keep thinking what they are now thinking.

But you know the truth. You know you are not a wealthy man, you do 

not deserve such respect and praises. Even if you act like you actually deserve it. Your heart won't accept those praises. Your heart will remain unease.

What I am saying actually is, yes, I go to the masjid like every week. I will try not to miss my Jumaah prayer, I dress very modestly, I help out for the Islamic school. But that does not a prove that I am a noble girl. Most people at the masjid look up at us. They invited to their house to have dinner and everything. They said that is the way they want to appreciate our value and help. Oh Allah. You know what is in our hearts, 

How much some times I do feel lazy to go or maybe nor sincere in doing something.

When I help the kind, as a normal young adult, I tend to get angry to some just because I think they should focus in class. Sometimes, I do whine about the kids to my friend and I think I could not handle them. But those behind the scenes are not realized by people. That makes they thought we are the best Muslims the have ever seen.

I wish to. But I am not, yet. 

Oh Allah, it is be cause of you I get all these. It is because of you, covering all my sins that people thought I am a nice girl. It is because you did not show them all those mistakes I did in my private life that they forget that I am too, not perfect. All these honor is from you and I definitely need to make sure to control myself. 

Indeed You know while they know not.

My studies

Longggggg time huh?

Yeah, it had been a very busy semester. No doubt. I was trying to find some time to update my blog but I haven't got a chance. Now that I don't like writing anymore. Writing has been my hobby since ever.  But sadly, I was too busy to write it properly.  

Let's start by saying bismillah alhamdulillah. 

Yeah, I was busy this semester. I know I missed doing what I used to be doing. But pro and cons, I actually learned a lot in those times. Obviously, I have a new housemate, we missed her for a year and not she is here. Alhamdulillah. Now, we are living three of us. 

Let's talk about study. Alhamdulillah my study is not so bad although I am actually struggling for some of my subjects, especially my federal taxation class. I can't hide it, it is a hard subject to me. I mean, maybe because I am not used with the taxation system here in United States. Some of the laws just can be accepted by me. Why is it complicated to calculate the tax. Just saying. But actually, without the exams and the projects, I would say I enjoy learning it, simply because I can see the perfection of Allah's law. The zakat is very simple and not complicated. I always compare what I learn in the class with what Islam teaches. For that reason, I am so proud to be a Muslim

Not to forget, my woman and religion class, what wonderful class. The fact that we learn about Christianity, i actually can make myself understand Islam better. You know what? I just know that I am actually a feminist. You can talk about women's right with me and I will say, consider islam!

I Islam is the only religion to give most right to woman. If you understand Islam, no one would argue about women's right. But people will start to question men's right instead! The fact that women were treated just like a queen in Islam. Would make most men jealous. Trust me, I am a feminist and a Muslim.

middle eastern history, what else can I say? It is an important class that most Muslim should take. Learn how Islam started to spread, and actually conquered 2/3 of the world, is really mind blowing. I know I took the class for granted. But this post is to remind my own self.

What else. Marketing and intermediate accounting. Both are fun. But I personally like marketing better. Marketing is so interesting that i started to understand the human's mind. To be precise, consumer's mind. 

Not that I don't like accounting but let's just keep it secret. 

Why am I updating about my classes?  I know right? I wanted and always wanted to remind myself about my intention. Yes, I am learning academics subjects. But I need to remember that I need to take them, not because of credits or graduation requirements. I took it because I want to know Allah. I know how much waste if I learn someting just because of the worldly reasons. I need to remind my self that I will die soon and I don't know when.

If I take it because this world and I die before having the chance apply them, imagine the waste of life. But if I have the right intention for Allah, I know every second I spend in learning the knowledge, I will be rewarded. InsyaAllah. 

My, word is always easy to be made but realize that to put into action is a total different story.

May Allah ease. Amiin