Life is test.

It is not about the test. Its about how we overcome and face it. 

We all face challenges and there are times when we will suffer. And muslims will be challenged. Palestine is still being occupied. Afghanistan and Syria are still at war. Southeast asia also have their own problem. 

We all being tested. But how do we deal with it?

First, fasten your seat belt. But what is our seatbelt? It is our iman.

Understand that nothing would happen in this life except with Allah' permission. allah is controlling everything, even the smallest things that we can't even imagine.

So don't worry too much! That's why the first thing to do when you are dealing with any difficulty is to turn back to Allah.

Second, we need to conquer the fahm: understanding. There is a different between knowledge and understanding. We can be very knowledgable about so many things but that would not help unless we understand. Why is it important to understand? 

Without understanding you won't be able to put it into practice and you can't turn the knowledge into wisdom. 

Thirdly, we need to understand the importance of plan. They plan, Allah plan but Allah is the best planner. When things get into your way, what are your plans to overcome it? You need to do something of course but what is it? We need to have a strategic plan in order to success, in both this dunya and in Akhirah.

Number four, act upon the knowledge, the understanding and the plans that we have? We all know that action speaks louder than words. Do something even if your are in the state of weakness. Because nothing is free in the world. Yes, we need to rely on Allah, but do your part. When Musa was running away from the people of Pharaoh, he felt very weak and he asked for the help of Allah. But we need to note that Allah ask him to beat his stick. do your part!

Fifth, yes you need to do your part as an individual, but it important to act collectively. Unite in doing something. But remember that unity is not uniformity. Work together to achieve things together. If everyone play their role of what they are good at, things would be much more easier.

Not to forget, hope and optimism is very important. Have hope and trust Allah.mAllah will help those who believe. Have faith in Him.

Hope, is what will make you strong. Without hope, you won't be able to survive because you don't see why you should go through all the difficulties. And how on earth will you survive?

Let us ponder upon the following verses/ayah from the quran:

... And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. 

[Quran 65:2]

And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.

[Quran 65:3]

If you need examples on how to deal with hardships, read the sirah of the prophet. Especially when rasulullah made dakwah to taif. How difficult the situation was. And how many people was with Him at the moment, do you think? There was just zaid ibnu harithah. Just one person by his side. It wasn't easy. And there wasn't a lot of people to help and to comfort him. And during the hijrah to Madinah, there was only abu bakr by Him to go through all those sufferings. His wife and uncle was dead, logically, he can be hopeless but that is not even an option. He keep on doing da'wah and did not lose hope.

How can he survived and still standing? Because he has Allah. Only to Allah he complain his tribulations. He asked for help from Allah only. he surrender and humble himself to Allah. He know that he wasn't left alone. 

Parenting tips

In suratul yusuf, 

When yusuf was disturbed about the dream, he didn't share it with his friends but he directly went to his father, yakub. This will not be the case if Yusuf didn't think of his father as approachable and place to share.

- so parent should be able to be the place where children fell comfortable to share anything,

But how do we get that kind of trust?

- Always hug and kiss your kids. This is to give the warm feeling of protecting them.

- Try not to instruct them. Engage them instead.

- Avoid dragging them or force them to do something. Give sometime  for them to make their decision and to be prepared and get moving.

- Set a rule, make it the tradition. Once they pass the boundary, try to talk and discuss with them.

- Tell and explain to them why we set the rule. Although it is not in the Quran, tell them why we decide to make them do.

- tell them what your feeling is. Not show them. If you are disappointed, tell them. Not show your disappointment so that they didn't get offended.

- always try to link our children with Allah

-Find a right time to discuss about it.

-Don't scold them in public 

-.Make special du'a, so Allah make it easy for you to talk with your children. 

- Watch out for your body language. Sometimes you can be using nice world but yiur facial interaction can be telling another different thing.

- find a happy moment together. Sit down and spend time with them. Do what they do.

- don't embarrass them in front of their or your friends

- teach them to do something you can teach instead of putting them in a class to learn. Be patient and supportive about that. Do not condemn any of their mistakes. They would greatly appreciate your effort and commitment

- praise them! Even in the times they didn't expect to be praised. Try yo make their day.

- focus on the bright side. Focus on the As. Not Bs. Tell them you are proud of them. Then when they gets happy, start to ask about their challenges and how you can do to help. 

Our children are our responsibilities 

Our children will be our investment

So we need to understand the importance of education

Learn! Be knowledgable. Especially about parenting based on the Quran and Assunah

Reflection- do self- search about what we need to change and improve. 59:18

Find a role model. And be that wise person

Search- within ourselves of our action

Evaluate- our actions 

Acknowledge what we did right, what we have done wrong

Reinforce positive parental behavior

Change the wrong behavior

Hang on- don't give up right away

Indicate clearly to the child  his/ her mistake 

Educate the about what's right and what's wrong

Understand them! This is vitally important so we could treat the at our best for their best

Understand that they need two things:

1) The need to belong

2) The need for attention

Practice sharp observation! Understand their behavior, sense what is not right? Jealousy? Lack of love?

Reaction to obstacle-- try to be an active listener to them. Let them share how they feel. Spend time on this. This is very important. Help them to go through life!

All in all,

- Leading by example! 

- Use mercy, kindness and gentleness- 21:107

- Teach them respect (17: 23-24)

- Do things step by step and consider the level of the child.

- Communicate clearly and effectively

1) start with a question.

2) 3 times is more than enough

- Allow children to express their feelings and share their happiness and pain

- Never say: this is not a problem, you are a big boy now.

- Teach that good deeds erase bad ones

- help the child to be capable and develop skills

Last but not least, say more yes and less no :)

Wallahualam 

Better Muslimah, Better generation

Yaumun nisa', Muktamar Maryland 2015

Dr. Hamidah

1. Being a good servant

- be grateful 

- have visions

- make sure to have a strong foundation about the deen

 If you do bad things, do good things because the good things will erase the bads.

- ittaqillah- be aware of Allah. Fear Allah but we need to be able to get near to Allah, not run away from Him.

2. Having a sound heart

- our heart can be hide, but our action will show how our heart is doing

- it is very difficult to maintain our heart and iman, but we need to so our best

3. Understand her deen

- even if we have our specialty in certain field, but we need to make sure we atleast have the minimal knowledge in Islam.

- able to read the quran

- understand what we recite in prayers

- improve our knowledge

- understand some surah atleast

- read the sirah. Atleast a book a year

- memorize some du'a from the quran, make it ritual

4. Possessing high morality( akhlaq karimah)

- show nobility in character.

- be kind to everyone. 

- portray that the Muslims are the best in Akhlaq

- the way of dress

5. Being an agent of mercy

- cleanliness, a lot of room for improvement!

- be 

6. Maximizing her life to serve the deen and humanity

- think about the future, 

- What we can do to contribute

- think about the ummah

But how?

~ know your tharget

~ know your strengths

~ know your weaknesses

~ get organized, structure your day

~ start by doing small things in a great way

 Don't way until something, to start. 

Be practical and realistic. Make sure to do it.

Ihsan- doing with excellence.

- do it with our best. 

Serba-sedikit tentang dakwah

Lama rasanya tak tulis dalam bahasa. Tapi ini nota yang sempat dicatat dalm majlis ilmu diMutamar 2015, Maryland . Tentang dakwah. Kita dianjur untuk berkongsi dan menyampaikan, jadi, isyaAllah ada baiknya jika nota ini dikongsikan disini. 

Dakwah itu jalan yang rasulullah telah gariskan. Dakwah itu jalan yang perlu dilalui oleh muslim mencontohi cara Rasulullah sampaikan dan tidak terkeluar dari jalan itu supaya tak sesat.

Tujuan dakwah itu adalah untuk menyeru kearah Allah walaupun topiknya pelbagai seperti topik ekonomi, hati, politik, hubungan sesama manusia, selagi ia meninggikan kalimah Allah, itu dipanggil dakwah, yang penting niat dan fokusnya kerana Allah. Tak kiralah caranya santai atau serius, berirama atau tegas, ianya tetap dakwah namanya,

Dalam dakwah perlu ada leader, program dan strategy. Lebih baik jika secara majmuk. Dakwah itu bukan sekadar di podium tapi bagaimana cara kita mengubah jahiliah kepada makrifah.

Ajaklh manusia kepada Allah walaubagaimana cara sekalipun. 

Allah ngayatuna

Dan subhanaAllah.

Permasalahan dakwah:

- dalam keluarga: 

Termasuk tanda2 bahawa seseorng itu akan berjaya di akhir ialah kembali kepada Allah diawal langkah.

( ibnu attoilah)

- niat kena benar dan juga kena selalu bertawakkal.

Mendidik ank itu sejak awal. 

Akhir surah al-hijr,

Invite. Act of love and kindness

Tugas kita hanya untuk menyampaikan.

Kita tak de hak untuk memaksa untuk mengubah

Satu hari orang berubah kerana dakwah kita pun, bukan hak kita untuk tahu.

Buat sahaja takat yang kita mampu dan dengan cara yang betul.

Zaman nabipun para sahabat, ada yang diakhir hidup mereka baru terima islam,

Even umar accepted islam 5 tahun sahaja sebelum meninggal

Nabi nuh alaihisslam dakwah selama 900 tahu , dengan kesabaran

Bersabarlah dalam berdakwah

Dalam berdakwah, kena bijak,

Walaupun menyampaikan perkara yang benar, kena ada hikmah.

Tunjukkan keindahan islam. Jangan mula2 dah cakp pasal halal dan haram.

Cari titik persamaan dulu, yg boleh attract orang masuk islam.

Fahami culture dan psychology kumpulan yg nak diajak itu.

Buat research supaya boleh guna cara yang terbaik untuk mengajak dan memperkenal.

Hayati dan dalami surah al-asr. Jadikan surah ini sebagai motivasi dlam berdakwah.

Semua manusia itu kerugian melainkan yang ingat mengingati. 

Kena beriman. Tp sebelum itu kena ada ilmu.

Dan keimanan takkan ada tanpa amal.

Dalam hidup ada perkara yang kita perlu jaga:

Nyawa, akal, harta, kehormatan

Dan ada yang perlu kita promosikan:

Agama, kehidupan

Islam ini syumul. Even dalam peperangan pun ada peraturan.

Jangan bunuh wanita, kanak2, jangan musnahkan Tmpat ibadat, jangan musnahkan tanaman, jangan juga bunuh penduduk dan orang ramai. 

Ini peperangan atau apa? Itulah keindahan islam

Rasionalize! 

Dalam dakwah, ada masanya perlu kita rasionalize kan semua perintah. Kena ada sebab.

Tell them why. Jangan kita paksa mereka dan beritahu apa yang boleh dan apa yang tak boleh, tetapi, bagitahu kenapa, supaya mereka faham dan seolah kita membimbing mereka membuat pilihan

Lead by example.

Kita boleh bicara dan bercakap sebanyak dan sekerap mana yang kita mahu tapi sedar bahawa kita action speaks louder than words. Jangan cakap saja tapi buatnya tidak

Masalah manusia:

Spiritually and intelligently weak.

Baca surah luqman. Banyak nasihat yang ada dalam surah itu untuk kita pelajari dari surah tu sehingga Allah rakamkan dalam al-quran

Dengan budak kecil, jangan lecture. Diorng x suka kita membebel.

Tapi berceritalah. Even 70% dalam quran itu kisah-kisah. Share dengan anak2 sejak kecil. Jangan buat macam formal. Buat santai2. Tengah masak, tengah drive, mereka suka. Silap2 mereka akan ceritakan kisah itu kepada kawan2 mereka.

Why Travel?

I always trying to figure what life is all about. Thinking about life is somewhat complicated.

Those are not easy questions. There is not solid answer for that. But since I am very into religion and history, learning those made me think a lot and if possible, i would try to relate everything with my life.

Recalling to the story of Moses, a prophet. I remember him went to mount Sinai at one point in his life. There, he got his revelation, the 10 commandment. Muhammad, at one point in his life, went to the Mount Hira’. He gets his revelation, the Quran. Also the story of Buddha, in his journey, he got the enlightenment. They all went in to wilderness to know the truth. Wilderness is the place I know I need to be in to figure out what I want in life and what life is all about. I believe, there are so many things the nature hold and keep them secret.

I found all this connection really interesting. especially when we know some religion encourage us to travel and even there are obligatory ones. In Islam, we are obligated travel and go on a journey to Mecca, the Hajj-pilgrimage. This is the same case to Christians. some of them still do the pilgrimage to Camino De Santiago in Spain to find the truth.

So I had this dream long ago. But I am trying to learn about how to make it possible. Travel? Sounds fun to most people but sounds hard to me. I know visiting places is easy. Just get a transportation and bam, you are in it. But traveling means getting the opportunity to look at different places not just to tell everyone else that I was there, but solely for myself. To figure out what I want and what I need to learn from nature.

I know life is short and I know everyone was born equal. But one thing about myself is, I don’t want to be equal. I want to be different from the majority of people. I want to be me. I want to be able to feel life, not just run through it. Because as far as I see, I feels like most people have different dreams in their life. Sometimes when I ask, they are being truthful about their dream, but most of them, just want to sound good about it.

That’s why I want to make sure I don’t fool my own self. I just want to be honest and want recognize the problem: I am stupid. I don’t know anything about life. Therefore, I need to figure it out. Yes, I know theoretically, My purpose in life is to worship God. But Why, How and What if I don’t?

Sometimes, yes, I feel really motivated to do it, but there are time when I feel like I need some activation pills to make me keep doing it. So I choose travelling. Travelling into nature give me things and time to reflect. The beauty in front of my eyes when I was in Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, The Arches and other places, Oh God, Indeed, I should not deny. Surely, You are Almighty and the Best Creator.

These are just some of the places I get the chances given by Him to look at. And I thank Him for this. If this is just the world, what would paradise looks like? I know how much I had sinned, yet, He gave me the chance to walk on His Earth, to see through the eyes, the miracles, Should I not feel guilty and grateful at the same time? Sometimes, I feels like I shouldn’t given this kind of gift, I did not deserve this kind of love, but I forgot, He is indeed the most Merciful.

Furthermore, remember I wrote earlier about how traveling is hard to me? I planned this trip and

It was difficult and amazingly enough, I don’t know where I get the gut to actually even think that I am capable to drive and go through all the hardship. But indeed, I planned, God planned. And after all He is the Best Planner. In God We Trust! :’)

*thanks to all my travel partners and also the other driver, I know I burdened you. I am sorry. May God bless all of us. Ameen

Reintroduce yourself

Some people said, “Don’t judge me from the past. I don’t leave there anymore.”

True. People change. I, myself know how much I have changed although change doesn’t always means progress. So, I personally don’t really like it when people look at me the same way they see me last year or even three months ago. People change. Everyone changes. We change our mind. We change our intention, we change the way we dress, we change the way we speak and so on.

But what’s lacking actually is, we need to know what have changed. What have we edited or improvised? Sometimes we have made a conscious decision in making a change. But sometimes, we just don’t behave like that any more. We first need to notice it.

Have you ever felt like you don’t know yourself anymore? That is because you didn’t pay enough attention to your own body and soul. Don’t let yourself to be the last person to notice the change. Why? Because you will be in time when people treat you differently than they usually do, and you get upset about it. Then, you start to whine and complain on how much people had change but little did you realize that the one who make them change is you. You blame everyone but your own self.

Ever heard of a phase saying, “ If you want to change the world, begin with your own self”? Yup. IF you notice anything surround you behave differently, don’t forget to evaluate the one in the mirror.

But that is not what I want to focus on. I want to write about introducing yourself. Remember how i said that we actually change very often? Just don’t expect people to immediately recognize. You need to bring the attention. Tell them who you are now. For example, If you used to love coffee, and now not anymore, tell them. OR if you were before a social person but now you want to stay in your own world, tell them. If you were strong and now, are feeling very weak, tell them.

People will make assumptions. They will assume that you are the old you. But no one knows that you actually are having a tough moment and you aren’t that strong anymore, in which you need some support. Therefore, tell them. Yes, you wish people are sensitive enough to notice, but their world is much more than just you.

So, this post is for everyone who are going through hardship in their lives and had changed something in themselves. And also who wanted other people to know and understand what is in their heart. By all means, tell the world. Speak up!

Reintroduce yourself.

He and she

She was born when I was 8. She remembers nothing until she was 2 or 3. At the time, I was 10 or 11. When she was 4, she starts to know me as a sister. We were so close. She was too cute for me. I love her. But I need to leave. I happened to receive an offer to a boarding school. I started to learn a new life. As a high school student and as a person. I leave home to learn about life. I was happy with the offer. So happy that I am so glad that I get to leave home. It was just too much going on at home for a rebellious girl like me. I enjoyed my life with my friends without my family, far from home. I feel like I really changed a lot, in a good way. I know things that I might never knew if I stayed at home.

Five years flies, she was by then 9. Finally i get to spend my days with her, I thought. I finished high school. Just after two months with her, I got an offer to get into college. Unlike most people of my age who get to stay at home about 6 to 9 month before enter college, I was blessed to get out from home once again. I was so eager but I knew i will miss her. As a sister, i really want to know her and want her to be aware that someone has her back.

A year and a half later, it is time for me to go further. I flew to the United States. It wasn’t solely my choice. As usual, I enjoy my time learning and experiencing new stuff. I am having fun, but deep inside, I knew I lost something. Two years later, I went back home for visit, 3 months at home but only get to spend about 2 weeks with my sister. She has grown up. As I was busy with my own life, she grew prettier. She was just different. She grew into a different person. She is now tall. I feel like I wasn't even her sister. We were too far away. It takes time to learn about her again. But time kept moving. Two weeks was like 2 seconds. It just went by and she need to get back to her boarding school again. When I flew back to the United States, she wasn’t even with me.

I feel like I’ve lost her. She is supposed to have a sister to be by her side when days weren’t bright, and smile to her when she achieved something. But I wasn’t there. When I was at her age, I remember wishing having someone to lend me shoulder, and to lift me up. Life is so hard when we need to go through things alone. At the time, I was promising to my own self. I promise to be the best friend and the best companion to my sister when she needs to go through what i’ve been through.

But now she is where I was, and I am at somewhere else. Perhaps that’s because I didn’t say insyaAllah. I just feel very disappointed with my own self. Most people around me look at me as if I had achieved something big. They were all proud of me but here myself looking at where I am standing and think about where I should have been. I motivate my friends but not my sister. I helped my community but not my family. I make people smile and laugh but not her? Sorry.

Thank God she still look up at me and admire me a little bit too much. But still, I wish am doing what a great sister should be doing. I hope I still have time for that, because when I look back in my life, the physical distance between me and my sister had been further and further. Now I am 21 and she is 13. I hope and pray so I could graduate as early to get back to her and play my role as a good sister. She needs me, just like I need someone when I was at her age. I love her so much but things just get more and more harder. I hope I still have time. InsyaAllah. But I have no power to control. Who knows if after this, I will need to leave, again, even further? Who knows if I need to return to God and leave this temporary and short life? I am no one to question. If that gets real, I want her to know that I love her and I pray that Allah will protect her, because indeed He offers the best protection.

I trust you, Allah. You are the Best Planner. Thank you Allah, Thank you for keeping our bond still alive although you could break our relationship anytime you wish. Thank you Allah.

Zammilooni

A lot of emotional stress that people go through, some people figure out a way to handle it. They have a strong enough support system to keep going and keep moving forward. And some people, they feel like they don't have that outlet.

Terrell Owens

I personally feel like i do not have the outlet. I’ve been ungrateful throughout this past years. I know as a Muslim, I should not have the feeling of being hopeless. I have God. I have Allah to always be the place for me to recharge. But I don’t know is it just me or this happens to everyone else? I believe this really happens to everyone else as well. I’ve been trying hard enough to overcome this feeling. I do not have someone who I could depend on in helping me to keep moving in this life.

I always look back to the story of our beloved prophet Muhammad that everyone knows had been going through in life with so much difficulties and hardships. I always tell myself that if I think my life is unbearable, imagine a life as a  man who loses his parents during he was little, losses his grandpa when he was still in young age, live with his uncle, but need to work because their life is not very wealthy. Grew up and be a man with so many responsibilities than no one else ever had. cursed and hated by most of the people around him.

But, being ungrateful me, I always have this question in mind: why don’t I have a partner as Khadijah or a friend as Abu Bakr? hundred times i have this questions in mind, and hundred of times i answer it myself. Obviously because I am not any close to his nobility.

As many times as it may sound, I really need a exact answer to it. I am not at all blaming anyone near me that they are not a good friend or a good people in my life. I am just always curious, until when?

I really do wish that i could just tell everyone the truth about myself. About who I am exactly and what makes me, me. Why I behave a certain way, why I am highly sensitive? Why am I so selfish. I’ve been struggling with this since little and every time this happen, I could not take it any more. I am just too weak. I always wanted a support system so that I could keep standing while my knees are shaking.

Trust, that is the word. I do not trust people to be able to understand my situation. someone in my life actually know about this but thee did not fully understand what I actually always wanted. I need just some understanding. I am begging for someone to keep giving me the blanket to me while i am shaking. Zammilooni.

I kept running away in my life without realizing that the cut is getting deeper and bigger. this internal wound should be treated, but I don’t know how. At the end, before i know it, I actually hurt someone else.

Sorry. I am not as strong as how you see me. I know my problem. I just don’t know how to solve it. People are running away because of how selfish I am. I do not want to blame anyone. If I were them, I might do the same thing. why wasting time with someone who doesn't trust people and keeping on hurting you? Just let them go! Get a life. They have problem, let them solve.

But if only I could get someone to bare patient with me, and try understand me, I would appreciate that person for my whole life. I know I took too much time, and it is your call to walk away. Honestly, everything that happens between us, it is entirely because of me. I do not blame you and that’s why I get mad when you keep apologizing. It is my fault and let me punish my own self. sorry if you feel like i was ignoring you but, to be completely honest. I am fighting. I have no gut to talk about it. It is all about what happened to me before and how it beat me up everyday. I am afraid of my ownself, though no one could see this.

Everyday, I always be ready to die. I feel like this world would be so much better without people like me. When you see me trying to do my best to do good to people, I was just trying to make my life useful before I die. I am annoying, useless and frustrating. I’ll take that. It is just me trying to find myself back. I got too frustrated with my own life but I know I have no right to blame God for this, I am trying to remind myself,  PERHAPS I JUST DON’T SEE WHAT HE SEES.

I try to not give up and that requires strength and energy. I wish I have a strong support system. But God knows best. 

Stop worrying and just go for it!

Stress-free week?

So this week had been my craziest week ever. Many thing happened to me within this week and none of them actually interrupt my emotion. I wonder how this could happen. 

At the beginning of this week, i was so emotional during the first day of week. I cried like almost all day and until  i meet my best friend, Migraine. She comes to visit me to make sure I am okay and so I have something else to think. It was also a warning for me to stop crying and just relax.

So, the next day, after the dispute was resolved, and i suddenly turned into a different person! I laugh and smile at everything, i tease anyone i want. I was just happy. Even during a formal meeting, which before this i was so quiet and reserved, i became very childish and cheerful that i made many people surprised with who i was on that day. No, i didn't do anything stupid of course, but i do act differently. 

That was on the second day of the week, while i break the ice by laughing at someone who was very nervous to take the exam, yeah, i feel kinda sorry for that but that actually made me find the common ground between us. I look at people and observe everything someone does and silently laugh or smile at them :P i know that was very naughty to do. And show my excitement in the cutest way that shocked people out. Haha, i just had fun. 

On the third day, there was just too many things going on, and i was supposed to be very busy and tired but i was not. I have like 7 assignments due this day, an exam, and three events that i need to attend. I took them real easy and just go for it. I had fun, no stress at all. This is a legit statement. No stress! I actually went to the mood screening to see if i was stress or depression, but guess what, the person or psychologist who did the screening for me said i was one of the most stress-free person, based on the scoring, yay!

I did that with a friend which supposed to be my study partner for the exam that we are gonna take in next hour. But well, we went for the mood screening instead. Andddd, got some free stuffs with us. That was that. The same day, we took the test, i remember that i need to attend one more meeting in addition to the three events that i said i need to join earlier.  So, i just went, it was a club meeting, trying to plan for an event, a big event. But before i step in, there was only two person discussing about the plan. So, my attendance was appreciated, greatly. I wasn't hoping for even a thanks for being there. But yeah, i was glad that i get to at least help. That made my day. Then, we went for a information party (to take away free stuffs). Well, we always get what we intend for. We got what we needed though don't get what i really want :( i got too much pizza by the way!

Next, we went to the diversity awareness program. Thought i would be a lecture and a boring one. Instead, it was a program full of games and activities! We had fun! Lesson learned, just go for it. However, that was a challenging program for me because i got to speak and act just coz i'm the chosen one. Well, in my nervousness and redness of shyness, i do it! Yeah of course, i really took a lot of courage to speak 2 sentences: I'm smart . And: i wear glasses. Don't judge, what do you know a bout how i feel :P kidding, don't take it to heart. Since the program last longer that we expected it should be, we decided not to attend the next one. We were late any way!

Thursday, i just realize that my college ID and atm card was missing. But i just don't one it to spoil my mood for the day, i just ok, i lost my i id, let's make anew one, though i does cost some money. And that's why i decided not to worry about it. It already cost my id so, why do i need to let it cost my mood, ;) right? I got lucky for a few reasons. 

And the same day, i get to meet andy. I always wanted to meet him but now that i got the solid reason to do so. So, yeah.. Indeed he is full of energy and always makes me feels good. He is my lollipop and i am learning to be one.

Friday, long story short, i missed the bus to get home. I was ready very early and decided to take a walk around campus. The bus should come at 6.15, and i got back to the bus stop at 6.11. But the bust already leave. Instead on getting angry about that, i decided to get into a building and pull my iPad and write something. I have another hour before the next bust come. 

You want to know what i wrote. It was this. This post!

So, okay, got to go... Before i actually miss the another bus and write another post. The lesson is, Trust God! Indeed we have something we are planning in our mind but when he put us through another thing, just have faith, trust him that this must be better. 

In this case, you all get to read my latest post! Finally! I've been writing so many things before and never end up posting because i don't get to finish everything up.

So, Alhamdulillah i am grateful for everything! Trust God, and no worries :)

I'm so gonna catch my next bus!

Peace and blessing to you!

Positive vibe spreads

Show respect to those who don't deserve it: not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours. ( Dave Willis )

You do good things, you help people, you hold your dignity, you smile to people, you show good character, you respect people, you hide their fault, you praise people, you motivate people, you be there for them, you do your job excellently, 

You thought there's nothing for that? 

I bet some time in your life, it turns to be not as good as you wish to. Sometimes you just start to question your very own self. Why are you still doing these? You kept asking, what for? Why wasting time doing good deeds?

You don't see the reward, you don't get any kind of award for that. They don't even say thank you. Or perhaps, not even realize your kindness. Then, why keep doing it? 

Yes, because God ask us to.

But of course, as a normal human being, sometimes we just like to question every single thing. Not that we don't believe in what we always hold. But it is just because sometimes doing good take a lot of energy and courage to do it. You don't see why you are still doing it while most people don't even care about it any more these days.

Put your hand on your chest. Say thank God. :)

Yes, you should thank God for this. This is golden. Yes, that thing behind your chest is Golden. Your heart is the greatest asset. Thank God for that. 

With out you realizing it, you actually inspire people. Though you don't see it today, believe me, someone actually was looking at you and admire your character. They wish they were kind just like you. They wish they have the courage to do that. They wish they aren't that selfish.

Most people choose not to come upfront to you to tell you the truth, they were just shy or can't stop thinking about being someone like you. They need time. 

Even if someone came to you and challenge your standings, speak kindly. Do not give up, but do not yell at them. Use wisdom to fight back. When someone came to you  and express their uncomfortable feelings about the goodness in you, be glad, your character and words actually successfully touches their heart and give impact on them.

Do not get surprised when one day, they come to you again, while you no longer recognizes them anymore, they said thank you. And because of you, they changed. Do not expect flowers and chocolates when doing good deeds. Expect the reward only from Allah, and when the perfect time come for you to know what's the effect of you being nice for all this while, you will find, that is happiness truly about. 

Yes, positive vibe spreads, though not as quickly as the negative vibes, it spreads.

It gives impact on people and can be life changing. Have faith in what God asked you to do. Do it sincerely. One day, you'll be more than happy having done this all this while, and you perhaps will question your own self. Why didn't you do more.

Be motivated and Do without complain

I learn to not complain. This semester had been a very tough one for me. A lot of responsibilities and commitment that I need to look after. But, I will never regret this experience.

I am in my sixth semester of college. I am currently taking a lot of higher level classes. Yes, I only take 15 credits this semester. Lesser credits than the credits I took last semester. 15 credits should be easy to handle. But since it is a higher level classes, and doing double major, it is kind of tough. I am currently do not have any formal official job. But I am very active joining clubs and organization.

This semester I am a part of 7 clubs. I am the Vice President for MCC( Multi-Cultural Council), a very active member of MSA (Muslim Student Association), an active member of ISO (International Student Organization), ASO (Asian Student Organization), IB ( International Business) club, HRPC ( Human Relations Programming Committee) and NAACP( National Association of Advancement for Coloured People). Doing my best to attend all of the meeting like every week, really a tough job to do. And when I attend a meeting, I don’t want to just be physically there. I want contribute of at least get something from it.

And I do. Thank God.

Yes, I purposely mention all of the clubs I join. Not at all to impress anyone. I do it because I think that could be a picture of how over-achiever some people might think of me.

I am actually more than happy to have this kind of opportunity. I meet a lot of people everyday. Now, i don’t just see people, but I am actually meet and interact with them. Knowing who I was back then, one might be surprised of how much change i did with my life. Of course, doing those might not easy and obviously not entirely by me. The process is long and hard. Some even thought I had changed from being an introvert, into an extroverted girl.

I personally would doubt that. I am still an introvert. I love spending time alone. Talk to my self and question every step that I am about to take. But why am I spending too much time socializing with people, if that is not something I prefer doing?

If I had a choice, I would selfishly not wasting my time doing what I don’t really interested in. But knowing that life is short and understanding that life is a lot more than just about our own self, investing all of the time I owed just into my own self, is the worst thing I could do.

Being selfish is not an option for me. In my life, I know I need to do something. I don’t need people to realize that, but I know what I want. I remember listening to one of the TEDTalks, it says ‘the same person who love to spend days in a cave until he got the holy revelation, was the exact same person who spend most of his time with humanity, spreading love. Since that day, I know exactly what I want to do. He was Prophet Muhammad, by the way.

We are designed to connect. Yes, indeed. who doesn’t want to have all his time on himself. Of course, if I think only about my own self, i will definitely spend time watching movies, and dramas, sleep, having fun and relax all the time. But something in me forces me to get out there and do something. No, i don’t mean we shouldn’t spend some time entertain ourselves.

Patient, is a fight against yourself.  It took a lot of strength in you to get out from what you wish to do, and really do something to the world. In my case, one of the reason i am doing it is because I want people to witness that they have met a Muslim, a peaceful Muslim, not a terrorist. It is always tempting to change what I really decide on doing. Especially when I heard people complain about their life. I mean, normal people complaining about normal things. Lets not take those people who live in the rural area who don't even have the food to eat. They sure have the right to complain, though most of them choose not to. *dush*


But yeah, I guess, the best lesson I get is to be motivated. Ask myself why I do it, instead of listening to the excuses by most people to not do it. I can be very negative sitting with negative people. they complain about their lives, but well that will force my mind to think that I definitely have a better reason to complain but not. I don't want to complain. and why am I listening to them anyway?
Though I actually sigh a little bit (or a lot) here and there....


Let people speak what they want to speak. But if it conscious or unconsciously affect you in a bad way, have the courage to stand up and leave. with a smile.