I'm 21 and i want to....

Let's talk about what i want to be and be honest and specific about it. Judge me if you want but well, these are my dream.

I want to be a supporter. I want to help everyone as much as i can. I want be remebered because i did this and not because i am pretty or fat. 

I want to stand by my own feet. I want to define success myself. I want to be able to utilize what Allah had blessed me with towards what i do best. I don't want to always feel insecure about my own self. I need to be confident. But at the same time, i need to humble. Humble enough that as much as i want people to appreciate me, i need to appreciate and respect everyone. I need to acknoledgetheir contibution even the smallest one. Just like i want Allah to accept every small deed that i had done, i need to thank everyone for that.

I want to be influencing but down-to-earth at the same time. I want to be someone who people could look at me and can say that Muslims are knid and helpful Muslims are amazing. I want to perform actions sincerely without pride. Though i want people to look at me so i can tell them who Muslims really are, i don't want to ruin my actions by pride and arrogance. When i do something, i must do it for Allah. i do it because I am a Muslim, i do it because God ask us to be kind.

I want to be able to speak honestly. I want to tell the world about something. When i speak of something, it is something important and something true. As much as i don't want to tell a lie, i don't want to keep the truth. I am aware enough of how much truth were kept secret and how much lie are told. I always believe, the world are getting worse not because lie are spreading around, but the truth were kept secret. I am sick of being in a world of lie. Just imagine if everyone who know the truth speak out, lies could not last long, that is nature of a lie. But why it is still around, is because truth is as if they are extict or something. Sad, sad world. 

I want to be the first to stand up. When i see someone needs a help, i want to be the first to lend a hand. Regardless of what people will think of me, i want do it. I know i had been fooled by the manority saying do not be the weirdo.  Now, i don't care anymore. I need to have the courage to do it. I had experiece numerous times that i need help but no one came forwand to ask me what happen. I know that it is not because they don't care. Deep inside they do care, as long as they are a human, they would care. They were just afraid, afraid of what people might think of say about them.  So, the decided to just walk away as if they don't know what was happening.

I want to be sincere. I want to do it because i know i need to do it. Not for fame, not for recognition. I dont want to get dissapointed when get a single thank you. Not even upset. Praise or curse will not change me. But comments and critics will taken positively. It will not bring me down but will lift me up. 

I want to be able to accept failure and mistakes. They are the proof that i tried. I took the risk. 

So, this is the part one. InsyaAllah will be part two of it.