Looking back to my posts, i started to realize that i always write about hardship in life and how i always gone astray.
I know it is not a good thing to always complain. I know but i couldn't help my self.
Huh, it is funny somestimetimes to look back to the old days. Funny that i keep on changing myself to make sure i try to please people around me.
I found my self very different than others. Yes, i am very different. Sometimes i just don't know why but sometimes do actually do know exactly why. My differences make it difficut for people to understand me. I do things my way. I am that type of person who always make sure i do something for reason.
For that being said, i started to think again. Why am i always changing myself. Obviously because i thought i needed to change. But soon i realize that. Someone who don't want to appreciate you won't appreciate you no matter how much you sacrifice for the. Then, why wasting time pleasing them?
One of my new year resolution is to be a good friend. I hate losing friend because i love all my friend, and sometimes, a bit too much. I hate having fight with them. Having dispute mean so much to me. I hate it when we have miscommunication. Unfortunately, i am trying my best fix this problem but this really disappointing me.
I try to be as frank as could so that we won't have miscommunication. You know what will happen when we don't talk and started to assume our selves? That story made by us playing in our mind is really hurting the relationship. We started to put someone as the antagonist role without even have any valid prove why.
I have being frank, at the first place. When I say something displeasing, usually, i dare to take the risk because I don't want miscommunication happen. If i could do anything as I wish, i would just keep it within my heart and play safe not to say anything to anyone else.
But decision made that i need to say it though it will hurt someone or even hurt myself. That famous hadith says " say the truth even if it hurts" really influence my decision,
Who like it when the consequence of you telling the truth will make your beloved ones to hate you?
But i do it for Allah, because i know Allah hate a person cutting his relationship with others.
You know what? Not every good thing you do, you will get the reward now. Actually, most of your good intention will slay you off today but you will be grateful one day because of it.
Not to mention that i now hate people who do not want to say the truth. I mean, especially when it is something related to me, i really want to know if i had done something terrible. Please, do not keep itto yourself and think you had just sacrife for me by not telling me what mistake i did.
I hate someone saying nothing when there is something. I know. It is hard to express something with words when you get too disappointed. But the thing is, how would i fix my mistake if I don't i know thefact that i am hurting you?
Please dont expect things will get better if you choose not to solve the problem now. When i keep repeating my mistake, don't get frustrated with me wheni keep hurting you. Tell me that iam wrong then only i know i need to change.
Tell me, it is fair to keep on punishing me with out me knowing what is wrong?
Think, please. Don't tell me i owe you because you sacrificed a lot for me just because you keep on hiding the wound from me. If you really are a good friend, be truthful as needed!
Stop putting me in doubt. Blame not on me when you yourself don't want to make or relationship better. I tried my best, but it will be useless if i am just the one clapping.
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