Sorry friend!

Have you ever wonder or ever have a dream to have a very good friend?

Although i don't know your definition of friend, i would rather share mine.

I don't need a friend who always be physically infront of me, but i need someone who always be there to motivate me.

I don't need someone to cry with me when i run into tears, i just need someone to calm me down with words of wisdom.

I don't need someone to totally understand me and my feelings, but i atleast need someone to have that care for me.

I don't need someone to always say yes to my decisions, but i actually need someone who could argue with me and make me realize my mistakes so that i can fix it

Hmmph, i don't need someone to always listen to me, but i need someone to respect my feelings, acknowledge my existance.

I don't need a person to always make me laugh, but i need, very badly, someone who can make me cry thinking of my deaths to come.

I really don't need someone to sacrifice his or her feeling for me, i just need a truthful friend, so that we can communicate in the best manner.

I don't need a friend to tell me how beautiful i am, or how smart i am, i just need someone who can keep my secrets when i tell him or her.

I dont expect someone to love me like i love them, but i really hate having a friend hating me without me knowing.

I am searching for a perfect friend. I could not find why. I started to hate this world. I started to get upset with my life. Worse, i started to hate most people.

Then i realize, the problem is, me. I did not acknowledge my friend here, my very close friend. The only who understand and support me going through this hard life. The one who always listen to my heart. The only to give me what i really want in life. When i almost give up, this friend is there, motivating me that life is not about the people around me. This friend tells me where my fault is. This friend who will never laugh at me when i make mistake.

This friend is a very good friend. I really want to write this post just for this friend. I just want to say sorry that i always neglect you. I am ashamed of my self that i was looking for that perfect friend but yet i have you since ever. Thank you dear friend, thank you. I would like to say i love you so much.

Thank you for making this life difficult that i could spend more time with you. Thank you for putting others away from us that i could love you more. 

Thank you Allah. You make this life hard, but you are also the one who helped me through these. I almost give up that no one could understand me. But you were there, waiting for me crying to you. 

Thank you Allah, again, thank you Allah !!!