Being unemployed sounds very bad to most people, but it is actually one thing people are taking for granted. I have no idea why everyone is in a rush. I understand some of them thought that being unemployed means doing nothing. That is why it sounds very terrible.
After coming back to Malaysia, I realize there are many things people are busy about.. top of the list is this two: Jobs and Marriage..
Well, of course! it is time. it is time to find a position, a full-time position, and to start an adult life. That is why you went for a degree, right? yeah right. I know, I am currently unemployed and kinda bored sitting at home, but once I was offered a job, I started to think, do I really want to start working? Like just after 19 days coming back for the US? My life was a rush. When I was 13, I entered a boarding school, 5 years. not even a month home, I was admitted to a preparation college. not long after that, I flew to the US.
Now I am home, do I need to be far again, from my family?
I am not saying that I want to be unemployed forever, but I guess, I need time. I need a transition time. I remember, when I got the job, my family members were happy and they wanted me to go. I personally don't wanna go. I have been away for so long and now I need to do it again, really, give me time. But my problem was, hate to disappoint anyone, especially my parents. I know that is a kinda childish side of me.
I actually know what I want but when being pressured, I get confused so easily and just follow their fingers. I just wasn't firm with what I want. Long story short, I learned to follow my hearts and instincts a long way.... I didn't regret or anything like that but just, if I am more decisive, I guess thing would be even simpler. NOW I AM WRITING HERE, I WANT TO FIX MY FAMILY RELATION FIRST! MY GOAL: BE GOOD DAUGHTER. Simple enough? Now this year(at least), I want to work or stay near to my mom. Regardless what people think of me, I need to play my part.
Yes, why do you have an oversee degree if you are not in a good career position yet? Oh please, I was there learning, I mean, learn new things and gain experiences. I wasn't there because I want to be wealthy. Maybe you would agree and maybe not, it's okay. I am picky about my job. If I am employed but I am not doing what I want and on the right path in achieving my goal, I must leave. I did apply for jobs and.. but I know,, I am just being picky.. sorry.
Okay, let's jump into marriage. Yes, I want to get married, but I am not desperate. I am picky. I want to get married early because don't want to have a huge age gap with my children in the future. But I won't say yes, just to anyone. Again, I am picky about sharing my whole life with another person, I am not looking for wealth. What is more important is attitude and chemistry. Although I want to get married as soon, but I okay if God destined the otherwise.
To my friends who have gotten the right job, and found the right spouse, I am happy for that. won't lie, I am jealous but don't worry, I am happy for you. :)
We all have different paths, different blessings, and different test. I won't compare our lives. I will work hard to get what I want but I will prioritize my needs. My desire to start working and find someone special is one thing but I guess, my job as a daughter in this family, comes first. There are many things I need to work on.
I believe in the impossibilities. I won't run from my problems, again.
I ask God to give me strengths. He knows best. The key is PATIENCE.
* purposely writing this to counter questions from family and friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment