Not yet

"Honor the space between no longer and not yet."

haha, I can't believe I'm writing this. Even worse, I can't believe I am experiencing this, especially when there's a gap between when it happened and when I started to feel this weird feeling. ( Yes, I purposely not making it very clear.)

And again, believe it or not, I think what I wrote in the previous post actually making much more sense for me now. It was just a few days ago. Argghhhh really? Like seriously, last time I wrote the post was just for the sake of writing since the lady had given some advice that I thought I might need it in the future, but I did not expect that it would be this fast.

I do not know how to explain the feeling, it is not like I feel very frustrated or anything like that but it sure makes me feel sad. But why must it take days to feel the sadness? why didn't I had the feeling right after? ok, ok I know I am confusing now.

But regardless, I must admit, that was a turning point for me. I did not expect that just because of that incident, I quietly wanted to start a new life, I didn't expect it to be the game changer. however, just as the quote I include in the beginning, I must honor the space between no longer and not yet. I can't believe I am in that particular space. honestly, I never thought I would be affected like this by that!

Accept the fact that it is no longer. come on, things are different now since then. at the same time just trust God that the time is not yet.

oh, wait! since when I even had that thing? It was never official. Sadly, It was just my feeling thinking and fantasizing things while the fact is it was never mine anyway. so, it is relevant for me to claim that it is no longer, though I know it never belonged to me?

That is the unfortunate fact about life, most of the time we are sad when God took something we love from us, but the truth is we never own them. Alright you got the point. we own nothing.

Believe that Allah had everything arraged very nicely for yahh..

Okay,, let me end this post with this:

"One of the hardest decision you'll ever face in life is whether to walk away of try harder"
-Ziad K. AbdelNour

*Mood: wanna start a new life, yet still unsure of one thing.

till then, assalamualaikum! :)